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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english #information #features #comparisons
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The figure of
two
Use synonyms
 pie
charts
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illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages
in addition
Linking Words
 to English, in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
two
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charts
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 were demonstrated by percentage and divided into 6 sections which were no other
language
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, French only,
German
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 only, Spanish only, another
language
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 and
two
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 other
Use synonyms
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
. In
the
Remove the article
apply
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each pie
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charts
Fix the agreement mistake
chart
show examples
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Spanish was the most spoken
language
Use synonyms
 in a decade. The lowest was
German
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 only and
two
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 other
Use synonyms
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
 in 2000,
while
Linking Words
 it was
German
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 only after 10 years.
First,
Linking Words
the proportion of bilingual and
German
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 speakers did not vary over the course of ten years, staying at 10%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there has been a 5% decrease in the popularity of another
language
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 section, with French being 5% less popular in 2010 than it was in 2000.
Second,
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compared to 20% at the beginning of the assessment, it is evident that just 10% of students have not picked up a new
language
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 during
this
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 time.
Additionally
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, the largest percentage in the
charts
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 indicates that students found conversing in Spanish to be more fascinating than other languages;
this
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 proportion increased from 5% to 35% in 2010.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 87%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, charts, language, german with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportions" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • multilingual
  • linguistic competence
  • significant
  • trend
  • increase/decrease
  • stable
  • popularity
  • relatively
  • decade
  • compare/contrast
  • survey
  • data
  • fluent
  • proficient
  • bilingual
  • predominant
  • minority
  • emerge
  • dwindle
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