Some people believe work for the same organisation all thier working life. Others think that it is better to work for the different organisations. Duscuss both these views and give your opinion.
Some people would say that it is better to
work
in the same company
until they retired
and others argue that the better option would be to Wrong verb form
retire
work
in various company
. Personally, I am more leaning towards the second argument and I will explain Fix the agreement mistake
companies
Correct pronoun usage
it on
on
the following paragraphs.
It is somewhat true that when people Change preposition
in
work
in the same company
for their entire career life, they can have a secure and predictable prospect for their career. Usually, a settled company
has a system and job level that is
already implemented, so their employees
can follow this
system and improve their job level. By committing in
one Change preposition
to
company
, an employee
could climb these
career ladder that has already Correct determiner usage
the
set
and deepen their knowledge within that Add a missing verb
been set
workfield
. Correct your spelling
field
However
, not all company
have Fix the agreement mistake
companies
this
settled system and level for their employees
, so it can be detriment
for them when they choose to stay. Because of Replace the word
detrimental
this
stagnation, they do not have new experiences and can not be growing
as an Wrong verb form
grow
employee
.
The later argument that state
it is better to Correct subject-verb agreement
states
work
in various company
sounds more promising. Fix the agreement mistake
companies
This
option can become a solution for
the problem in Change preposition
to
previous
paragraph. When an Change the article
the previous
employee
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
this
stagnation in their workplace, they can choose another company
that can gives
them more benefits and Change the verb form
give
facilitates
growth for the Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitate
employees
. By moving
to a new Change preposition
Moving
company
or a new position, it
can Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
give them new experiences and knowledge, so they have more value as a worker or an employee
.
In conclusion, It is better for an employee
or a worker to try work
in several companies before they Fix the infinitive
to work
settled
in, because it can expose them to Wrong verb form
settle
the
new knowledge and working experience. By doing Correct article usage
apply
this
, the employees
can have more values
for their background and resume so they will have more Fix the agreement mistake
value
opportunity
for a better Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
carreer
.Correct your spelling
career
Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both viewpoints effectively and offers a clear opinion. However, including more detailed and relevant examples could strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. This will help improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
general
You have minor grammatical errors and some awkward wording. Proofreading your work will help to catch these small mistakes and improve your overall clarity.
conclusion
You have a strong conclusion that reinforces your opinion and summarizes your main points effectively.
discussion
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of both viewpoints, and you logically discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.