Some people believe work for the same organisation all thier working life. Others think that it is better to work for the different organisations. Duscuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Some people would say that it is better to

work

Use synonyms

in the same

company

Use synonyms

until they

retired

Wrong verb form

retire

show examples

and others argue that the better option would be to

work

Use synonyms

in various

Use synonyms

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

. Personally, I am more leaning towards the second argument and I will explain

Correct pronoun usage

it on

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the following paragraphs. It is somewhat true that when people

work

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in the same

company

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for their entire career life, they can have a secure and predictable prospect for their career. Usually, a settled

company

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has a system and job level

that is

Linking Words

already implemented, so their

employees

Use synonyms

can follow

this

Linking Words

system and improve their job level. By committing

Change preposition

show examples

one

company

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, an

employee

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could climb

these

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

career ladder that has already

set

Add a missing verb

been set

show examples

and deepen their knowledge within that

workfield

Correct your spelling

field

However

Linking Words

, not all

Use synonyms

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

have

this

Linking Words

settled system and level for their

employees

Use synonyms

, so it can be

detriment

Replace the word

detrimental

show examples

for them when they choose to stay. Because of

this

Linking Words

stagnation, they do not have new experiences and can not

be growing

Wrong verb form

grow

show examples

as an

employee

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. The later argument that

state

Correct subject-verb agreement

states

show examples

it is better to

work

Use synonyms

in various

Use synonyms

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

sounds more promising.

This

Linking Words

option can become a solution

for

Change preposition

show examples

the problem in

Change the article

the previous

show examples

paragraph. When an

employee

Use synonyms

experienced

Wrong verb form

experience

show examples

this

Linking Words

stagnation in their workplace, they can choose another

company

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that can

gives

Change the verb form

give

show examples

them more benefits and

facilitates

Correct subject-verb agreement

facilitate

show examples

growth for the

employees

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By moving

Change preposition

Moving

show examples

to a new

company

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or a new position,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

also

Linking Words

give them new experiences and knowledge, so they have more value as a worker or an

employee

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. In conclusion, It is better for an

employee

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or a worker to try

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work

Fix the infinitive

to work

show examples

in several companies before they

settled

Wrong verb form

settle

show examples

in, because it can expose them to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new knowledge and working experience. By doing

this

Linking Words

, the

employees

Use synonyms

can have more

values

Fix the agreement mistake

value

show examples

for their background and resume so they will have more

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

for a better

carreer

Correct your spelling

career

arsyiiimuhammad061Sun May 26 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both viewpoints effectively and offers a clear opinion. However, including more detailed and relevant examples could strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. This will help improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

general

You have minor grammatical errors and some awkward wording. Proofreading your work will help to catch these small mistakes and improve your overall clarity.

conclusion

You have a strong conclusion that reinforces your opinion and summarizes your main points effectively.

discussion

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of both viewpoints, and you logically discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

career longevity
organizational loyalty
diverse skillsets
career trajectory
organizational culture
employee retention
job market dynamics
technological advancements
personal growth opportunities
job security
psychological implications
industry changes
professional development
workplace satisfaction

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Some people believe work for the same organisation all thier working life. Others think that it is better to work for the different organisations. Duscuss both these views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Should the government fund the education and healthcare system? What is your opinion?

It is often argued that it is difficult to get children to read. Why do you think this is? What measures could be taken to encourage children to read more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Each year Increasing numbers of students are deciding to move to a different country for higher education. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Some people believe that athletes, such as football players, are paid too much money. Others argue that they have extraordinary skills and deserve to earn large amounts of money.