The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#line #show #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons

These charts illustrate some

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

committed in England

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

last

year. The pointed line graph shows the fluctuation of

crime

Correct article usage

the crime

show examples

rate based on the

relashionship

Correct your spelling

relationship

between age and

crime

. As we can see,

children

Change preposition

for children

show examples

from 0 to 8 years old

nobodys

Correct your spelling

nobody

had committed a

crime

, but others from the age 8 to 12

did

Verb problem

committed

show examples

almost 5

thounsand

Correct your spelling

thousand

crimes

. The line from 12 and 20 years old

rosed

Correct your spelling

rose

show examples

up and to achieve peaks of 70 and 80

thounsand

Correct your spelling

thousand

crimes

. Around the age of 24 young people became more quiet. The pie chart

decribes

Correct your spelling

describes

the different types of

crime

. The most

crimes

committed were violent

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

which have the biggest slice of

pie

Correct article usage

the pie

show examples

with 46%.

Porperty

Correct your spelling

Property

crimes

and drug

crimes

23% and 22% respectively. The

last

one, which is the public order

crimes

is a slice that

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

the smallest size

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

in 9%.

Overall

, many young guys of 20 years old more or less

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

committed violent

crimes

last

year.

Submitted by bucciarellianna3 on Sun May 26 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, crimes with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

161 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

The line graph depicts
The pie chart illustrates
reveals
displays
depicts
the trend of
the overall crime rate
steadily decreased
the distribution of
different types of crime
prevalent
accounts for
the most common crime
followed by
make up
a smaller proportion of
the total crimes
a smaller percentage
approximately
the remaining percentage
It is important to note that
reflects

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The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to child's development as other subjects, so it shoube compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?