The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment level within those groups.

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment level within those groups.
The
chart
and the graph illustrate the
figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
three
kinds of employees in
Australia
and the unemployment rate within those brackets. Generally speaking, it can be seen that people who were born in
Australia
(BIA)
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
the majority of
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
show examples
.
While
in the second
chart
, it can
also
be observed that the unemployment level of all
three
groups declined
throught
Correct your spelling
throughout
through
the decade. Beginning with the employees born in
English - speaking
Correct your spelling
English-speaking
show examples
countries (
ESC
), the
figures
were similar to those
non-English-speaking
Change preposition
of non-English-speaking
show examples
countries (
NESC
).
Figures
Correct article usage
The figures
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
ESC
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
14 per
cent
and the
NESC
was 10 per
cent
.
While
the
data
of workforce born in
Australia
was over
three
quarter per
cent
and account for a huge place in the pie
chart
.
Besides
, the information of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
other groups was smaller and lower than the group which had the highest
data
and percentage in
chart
Add an article
the chart
a chart
show examples
. Turning to the remaining statistics, it is apparent that the
NESC
included the
data
which was always the highest through a decade from 1993 to 2003. At the beginning of the timeframe, the
data
of that
chart
started with approximately seven per
cent
while
the lowest was
ESC
which started
over
Change preposition
at over
show examples
three
per
cent
in 1993. There was a drop in the following time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the statistics of
NESC
and it considerably declined until
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
half in 1997. After that time, it fluctuated to the end of
timeframe
Correct article usage
the timeframe
show examples
and ended with nearly
three
per
cent
. The lowest line was
ESC
and the
figures
fluctuated until ended time with nearly one point five
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia
started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
four per
cent
but there was a drop in the following year and slightly decreased until
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
of
timeframe
Correct article usage
the timeframe
show examples
at the point
two
Change preposition
of two
show examples
per
cent
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, figures, three, australia, esc, nesc, cent, data with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

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