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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

This graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

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The graph illustrates energy utilization in six various ways from 1880 to 2030 in the USA. It is obvious that the majority of people about 35
units
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 used oil and petrol in 2980,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it fluctuated until 1995. After that, it has been rising notably until now and forecasted that it will go up to about 50
units
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in 2030. Coal was approximately five
units
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 lower than Natural gases in 1980. Both of them increased significantly until 2015. The projections show that,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 natural gas will reach a plateau of around 25
units
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in 2015, the use of coal will ascend markedly until 2030. The use of nuclear , solar wind , and hydropower was at the same point in 1980, just under 5
units
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The nuclear and solar wind
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
 a slight growth over 50 years. Meanwhile, hydropower remains unchanged.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the consumption of petrol and oil was the most popular in 1980 and soared through the years. Afterwards,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the use of natural gas was more than coal in 1980, it has altered after some period. At
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the utilization of other fuels has no change over 50 periods.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • energy consumption
  • trends
  • projected
  • dominant source
  • slight fluctuations
  • steady increase
  • gradual increase
  • renewable sources
  • positive growth trend
  • fossil fuels
  • energy mix
  • significant contributors
  • share
  • projections
  • hydroelectric power
  • solar/wind energy
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