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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the chart below shows the percentage of river water in UK rivers that is classified as having good chemical quality between 1990 and 2002.

the chart below shows the percentage of river water in UK rivers that is classified as having good chemical quality between 1990 and 2002.
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The picture
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consists
consits
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consists
 of the title "River
water
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quality
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 in the UK" illustrating the percentage of river
water
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 with good chemical
quality
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 from 1990 to 2002 across four regions:
Northen
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Northern
Ireland
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,
England
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,
Wales
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 and
Scotland
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Overall
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, there
were
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was
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 a considerable variation in the figure for
England
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 and
Scotland
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. Meanwhile, the percentage of
Wales
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 and Nothern
Ireland
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 stayed unchanged most of the period, until the year 1998,
tha
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the
 data for Nothern
Ireland
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 reached the peak of the chart. Starting with 45% in the year 1990, the proportion of
water
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quality
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 in
England
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 increased steadily. Until 1996, the figure for
water
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quality
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 in
England
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 reached the peak at approximately 70%, after
that
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that,
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 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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witnessed a significant drop from nearly 70% to exactly 20%. Meanwhile, the percentage of river
water
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 in
Scotland
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 having good chemical
quality
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 was only half as much as the figure for
England
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 at about 21%, after which it
was
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apply
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remained unchanged in the next six
years
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 (at 30%).
However
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, there was
sharp
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a sharp
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 increase from 30% to 50% in 2002, surpassing the data for
England
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 .
Moreoever
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However
, another surpassing point
occured
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occurred
occurs
 between the year 2000 and 2002,
while
Linking Words
 the number of good chemical
quality
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 rivers in
England
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 rose quickly from 20% to 50%, the data for
Scotland
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 experienced a rapid fall
by
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of
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 20% in the
last
Linking Words
 2
years
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the proportion of
water
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quality
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 in
Wales
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 and Northern
Ireland
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 reached a plateau of 95% and 85% respectively in the first
eitght
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eight
years
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. In the following
years
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,
Wales
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 witnessed a sudden drop to 80%,
while
Linking Words
Nothern
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Northern
show examples
Ireland
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 climbed to 95% in 2000
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and maintanced
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maintanced
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maintenance
maintained
 that value until the end of the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, quality, ireland, england, wales, scotland, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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