IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart illustrates the total minutes that the British use telephone call between 1995 to 2002 in three types including Local - fixed line, national and international - fixed line, and mobiles.

The chart illustrates the total minutes that the British use telephone call between 1995 to 2002 in three types including Local - fixed line, national and international - fixed line, and mobiles.
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The chart delineates the weekly
hours
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 worked and the annual salaries across four professions: fire service, police service, nurses, and teachers. Firefighters work approximately 40
hours
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 weekly, earning an annual
salary
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 of £48,700. Police officers work slightly less, around 37
hours
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 weekly, but earn the highest
salary
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 of £52,050 per year. Nurses exhibit the highest
workload
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 at nearly 55
hours
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 weekly, yet their remuneration is relatively lower at £37,450 annually. Teachers, who work about 30
hours
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 per week, receive the lowest
salary
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 of £33,600. Despite the significant
workload
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, nurses' compensation is disproportionate, underscoring the disparity between effort and reward in their profession. Police officers benefit from a balanced
workload
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 and the highest earnings, suggesting a more equitable distribution of
labor
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labour
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 and compensation. Firefighters have a moderate
workload
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 and
salary
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,
while
Linking Words
 teachers, despite their critical role, are least compensated, reflecting
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
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 undervaluation of their contributions.
Submitted by chalermchartbsc on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, salary, workload with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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