IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the chart below show percentages of water used in different sectures in Sydney, Australia in 1997 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the chart below show percentages of water used in different sectures in Sydney, Australia in 1997 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart data on a diagram of
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
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 of
water
Use synonyms
 users in Sydney, the capital of Australia between 1997 and 2007 years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 using
water
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 for food, buildings and manufacturing has decreased, in other spheres like service and household use has increased. The greatest proportion of
using
Verb problem
apply
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water
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 in 1997 was for the food industry, which decreased in 2007 from 48 per
cent
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 to 41 per
cent
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,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for the category of household use increased from 19 per
cent
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 to 21.
Water
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 used for manufacturing which is followed by a diagram accounted that in between
this
Linking Words
 period it has almost stayed without changes or was relatively similar. In 1997 year it was about 15 per
cent
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 followed by a small decrease in 2007 to 11 per
cent
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. Next is the service industry which was approximately 13 per
cent
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 in the 1997 year, and it increased to 25 per
cent
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 in 2007. The diagram shows that
Water
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 has been used slightly lower for building industries. In 1997 it was only 5 per
cent
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, which in 2007 decreased to just 2 per
cent
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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