These days many young people are spending less time doing outdoor activities such as hiking, mountain climbing, and enjoying nature. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage them to do more of these activities? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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It is a fact that today’s
children
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represent the future prosperity
for
Change preposition
of

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our societies.
However
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,
children
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nowadays are growing less and less interested
toward
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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all sorts of
physical
Change the adjective
physically

It appears that the adjective physical is attempting to modify the adjective demanding. Consider replacing it with an adverb.

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demanding activities especially the
outdoors
Replace the word
outdoor

The word outdoors doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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ones
such
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as hiking, climbing mountains and the simplest forms of
nature
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enjoyment. In the next paragraphs, the reasons for
this
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developing crisis and the ways to antagonize it will be discussed. As technological innovations and different social media applications continue to dominate our modern realities. It becomes important for us to reveal the catastrophic effects occurring upon our young ones.
Children
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are being subjected to unhealthy addiction patterns revolving around the usage of their high-tech devices combined with
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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social media applications. Which makes them dependent on short and frequent dopamine bursts for their whole rewarding cognitive system. Satisfaction
then
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, even pleasure,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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not to be reached by any natural means as long as they get what they are looking for from the virtual world.
As a result
Linking Words

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, a sedentary lifestyle is the final outcome. Homes are becoming cages for
children
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preferring the stay rather than
exploring
Wrong verb form
explore

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb exploring. Consider changing it.

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nature
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. Unfortunately, our young are dissociating and growing apart from
nature
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, and soon they will become like aliens to
nature
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. Societal reformations and proper media usage will be
handful
Add an article
a handful

The noun phrase handful seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to tackle
such
Linking Words

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growing
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases

It seems that disease may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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within our
children
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. The role of parental guidance and their active inclusion into their
children
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’s daily routine will be pivotal to
resolve
Wrong verb form
resolving

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb resolve. Consider changing it.

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this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

widely spreading phenomenon. Parents must get proactively involved in promoting the significance of outdoor activities to their young.
Also
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, screen time should be
made
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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limited or as a treat after a short hiking session. Societies,
on the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, should arrange contests
such
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as marathons and mountain climbing events directed to
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with symbolic rewards every now and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to encourage them to connect
their
Change preposition
with their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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mother
nature
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To conclude
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, Technological development and evolution are
coming with
Verb problem
taking

There may be a verb use issue here.

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a huge toll on our
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The physical aspect and our ways of appreciating what
nature
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

provides us should be carried on by
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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future generations.
Such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

untimely loss of innocence to virtual realities will affect the future bond between us, humans, and
nature
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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task achievement
Although the essay provides a clear and well-rounded response to the prompt, it would benefit from the use of more specific examples or experiences to further illustrate the points made. Including some personal anecdotes or hypothetical examples would enhance the relevance and impact of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, it's suggested to work on the transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Some sentences feel somewhat disjointed due to abrupt shifts in ideas. Adding transitional phrases will create smoother flow and stronger connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame the main arguments.
task achievement
It effectively identifies the main reasons why children are spending less time on outdoor activities and offers realistic and actionable measures to counteract this trend.
task achievement
The essay stays relevant to the topic throughout, maintaining focus and addressing both parts of the question: reasons for the issue and solutions.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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