These days many young people are spending less time doing outdoor activities such as hiking, mountain climbing, and enjoying nature. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage them to do more of these activities? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
It is a fact that today’s
children
represent the future prosperity for
our societies. Change preposition
of
However
, children
nowadays are growing less and less interested toward
all sorts of Change preposition
in
physical
demanding activities especially the Change the adjective
physically
outdoors
ones Replace the word
outdoor
such
as hiking, climbing mountains and the simplest forms of nature
enjoyment. In the next paragraphs, the reasons for this
developing crisis and the ways to antagonize it will be discussed.
As technological innovations and different social media applications continue to dominate our modern realities. It becomes important for us to reveal the catastrophic effects occurring upon our young ones. Children
are being subjected to unhealthy addiction patterns revolving around the usage of their high-tech devices combined with its
social media applications. Which makes them dependent on short and frequent dopamine bursts for their whole rewarding cognitive system. Satisfaction Correct pronoun usage
their
then
, even pleasure, are
not to be reached by any natural means as long as they get what they are looking for from the virtual world. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
As a result
, a sedentary lifestyle is the final outcome. Homes are becoming cages for children
preferring the stay rather than exploring
Wrong verb form
explore
nature
. Unfortunately, our young are dissociating and growing apart from nature
, and soon they will become like aliens to nature
.
Societal reformations and proper media usage will be handful
to tackle Add an article
a handful
such
growing disease
within our Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
children
. The role of parental guidance and their active inclusion into their children
’s daily routine will be pivotal to resolve
Wrong verb form
resolving
this
widely spreading phenomenon. Parents must get proactively involved in promoting the significance of outdoor activities to their young. Also
, screen time should be made
limited or as a treat after a short hiking session. Societies, Verb problem
apply
on the other hand
, should arrange contests such
as marathons and mountain climbing events directed to children
with symbolic rewards every now and then
to encourage them to connect their
mother Change preposition
with their
nature
.
To conclude
, Technological development and evolution are coming with
a huge toll on our Verb problem
taking
children
. The physical aspect and our ways of appreciating what nature
provides us should be carried on by the
future generations. Correct article usage
apply
Such
untimely loss of innocence to virtual realities will affect the future bond between us, humans, and nature
.Submitted by besoyam on
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task achievement
Although the essay provides a clear and well-rounded response to the prompt, it would benefit from the use of more specific examples or experiences to further illustrate the points made. Including some personal anecdotes or hypothetical examples would enhance the relevance and impact of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, it's suggested to work on the transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Some sentences feel somewhat disjointed due to abrupt shifts in ideas. Adding transitional phrases will create smoother flow and stronger connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame the main arguments.
task achievement
It effectively identifies the main reasons why children are spending less time on outdoor activities and offers realistic and actionable measures to counteract this trend.
task achievement
The essay stays relevant to the topic throughout, maintaining focus and addressing both parts of the question: reasons for the issue and solutions.
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