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Band 5.5

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The line graph illustrates the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed in 4 distinct months of 2014 in the 4 libraries in a village,
while
Linking Words
 the next pie chart contains data pertaining to 5 specific types of borrowed
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 in the aforementioned period.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the number of borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 in 3 libraries namely West Easton, Sutton Wood and Church Mount increased ,
while
Linking Words
 those of Ryelip saw a decrease.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, the type of borrowed book
which
Correct pronoun usage
that I
show examples
 was keen on was fiction.
Lookin
Correct your spelling
Looking
show examples
 at the line graph in
further
Linking Words
 detail, the number of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed in West Easton and Church Mount all stood at 50
books
Use synonyms
 and tripled to 150
books
Use synonyms
 throughout the timeframe. Concurrently, Sutton Wood witnessed the rise in the quantity of borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 which was from 250
books
Use synonyms
 in June to roughly 275
books
Use synonyms
 in July before dropping dramatically to
books
Use synonyms
 after one month.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by a recovery from 100
books
Use synonyms
 to exactly 300
books
Use synonyms
 throughout the timeframe. By
constrast
Correct your spelling
contrast
, the quantity of borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 in Ryeslip was 300
books
Use synonyms
 in June which
hold
Correct subject-verb agreement
holds
show examples
 the first position compared to the other figures and there was a sharp decrease to roughly 175
books
Use synonyms
 throughout the period. Turning to the pie chart, it can be observed that fiction
books
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 selected by the most
peopld
Correct your spelling
people
 with 43% compared to biography
books
Use synonyms
 with 19%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, history and science were 2 types of
books
Use synonyms
 which had the same percentage of 14%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, self-help was the only genre
which
Change preposition
from which
show examples
 the villagers borrowed
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 proportion of 19%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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