You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #countries #service #men #school #idea #system #women

I agree that all countries have military

service

for

men

. In my country, there is

military

Add an article

a military

show examples

account for all

dude

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dudes

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and I think that

this

is a good thing. It teaches

fellow

Fix the agreement mistake

fellows

show examples

many new things and new skills that are important for life.

Also

for young

people

, it is fun doing military account. I made many friends in my country with

military

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the military

a military

show examples

office. It is good for countries to have military and military needs folk. If military business is in the country

then

the army would have

people

and

also

young

people

would learn new teachers.

On the other hand

, I do not agree with military supply for women. Nowadays there are some women in the military and

this

is not a problem for them. but I think that not all women want to go

Change preposition

into

show examples

the military and not all

person

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people

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are strong

for

Rephrase

enough for

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the military. Maybe

female

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females

show examples

have other

works

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work

show examples

or can stay at home. I think that

this

is chosen for

female

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females

show examples

and compulsory military

service

is not a good thing. Nowadays there are problems in many countries with

behaviour

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the behaviour

show examples

of young

people

. Young

people

maybe

Correct your spelling

may have

show examples

no respect and maybe criminal

behaviour

. I think that military

service

is very hard and you need to be respected. I think that

this

is good for young

people

and especially

men

Men

are more often criminal-like

behaviour

and maybe violence. Military

service

teaches good

behaviour

. I think that military

service

is a good thing for

men

however

other

people

do not agree with

this

. They think military

service

is a violent place and the military is not a good place for

people

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Fri May 31 2024

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task response

- Develop a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your argument, making your essay more structured. - Use paragraphs to separate your ideas and make your essay easier to follow. - Strengthen your arguments by including more specific and detailed examples. - Provide a balanced perspective by considering possible counterarguments and addressing them effectively.

coherence cohesion

- Organize your essay better by dividing it into paragraphs; this will help each idea to stand out clearly. - Ensure that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence and sticks to a single idea or argument. - Use linking words and phrases (e.g., however, thus, consequently) to enhance the flow of ideas.

linguistic quality

- Avoid repetitive phrases and aim for more variety in your sentence structures. - Proofread your essay for grammar and sentence construction errors to make it more polished and clear. - Enhancing vocabulary and using more precise words will make your essay more engaging and effective.

task response

- The essay clearly states the writer's position on compulsory military service, which is a good foundation for presenting further arguments. - The writer provides personal experiences which add a unique perspective to the essay.

coherence cohesion

- There is an attempt to address potential counterarguments, which shows a more complex understanding of the topic. - The essay has a logical flow overall, with thoughts presented in a sequence that is easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
military service
young men
adopt
system
patriotism
national unity
responsibility
discipline
individual freedoms
personal choice
skills
training

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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

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Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyles in the countryside. other believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. discuss both view and give your opinion.