You have been working for a company for some time and other rival companies are willing to employ you with a higher salary for all the practical experience you have gained. Write a letter to your company manager and in your letter: Explain the situation; Say what you would like the manager to do (increase the salary,etc); Say what action you would take in case the manager fails to meet your demands.

#company #time #companies #salary #manager #situation #action #case #demands

Dear I

write

Wrong verb form

am writing

show examples

letter

Add an article

a letter

the letter

show examples

for

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you to give information, I

get

Wrong verb form

got

show examples

offer

Add an article

an offer

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

work

from

other

Correct quantifier usage

another

show examples

company and I

send

Wrong verb form

am sending

show examples

this

letter

for

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show examples

give me permission to out

from

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show examples

here but I hope to stay

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apply

show examples

here for

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time.

Correct your spelling

This day

Thisdays

Correct your spelling

These

, I have

Fix the infinitive

to do

show examples

work

be well and the situation very

compartable

Correct your spelling

comparable

comfortable

but not about the

salary

and

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hope my

salary

can change suitable with my

work

I need to increase my

salary

because I have

offer

Correct article usage

an offer

show examples

for

work

other place

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another place

other places

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which more

big

Correct article usage

a big

show examples

salary

and if you want to see me stay

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apply

show examples

here to

work

. in

this

company I have

give

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given

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many

benefit

Change to a plural noun

benefits

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and

that is

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the

show examples

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

why I

force

Wrong verb form

am forced

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to ask big

salary

because my family

not

Add a missing verb

does not

show examples

Add a missing verb

have enought

show examples

enought

Correct your spelling

enough

with my

salary

. I hope you can

approved

Wrong verb form

approve

show examples

what I need

for

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show examples

stay

long

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a long

show examples

time at

this

place. I wanna ask to increase my

salary

but if the feedback not

approve

Wrong verb form

approved

show examples

I will go out from here. I give you a week

for

Change preposition

show examples

consider

Change the verb form

considering

show examples

what

Correct your spelling

have

I have

ihave

Correct your spelling

I have

talk with

this

letter I suggest you

Remove the particle

apply

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reaply

Correct your spelling

really

reapply

quickly, I can't wait for

long

Add an article

a long

show examples

week for

Correct article usage

a respon

show examples

respon

Correct your spelling

response

. Regard Ansory

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Fri May 31 2024

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Task Response

Your letter should address all points of the prompt in a clear and concise manner. You need to explain the situation, state what you would like the manager to do, and mention what actions you would take if your demands are not met. Try to improve clarity and detail.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on connecting your ideas more logically. Use linking words and phrases, and ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea. This will help improve the flow and understanding of your letter.

Grammar and Vocabulary

Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure to make your writing more professional and clear. Avoid using informal language like 'wanna.'

Tone

Ensure your opening and closing are professional and courteous. Aim for polite requests rather than demands.

Content

Your message about wanting to stay with the company but needing a higher salary comes across clearly.

Task Response

You have included a clear consequence if your demands are not met, which helps in making your position understood.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

Best regards,
Warm wishes,

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

191 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The Closing

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

These days people spend more and more time at work and less time at home. What are advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

International communities should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an increase in the number of parents choosing educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to schools. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?