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Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
give
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
bar graph indicates the
proportion
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 of
men
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 and
women
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teachers
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 from
Nursery
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/ pre-
school
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, primary
school
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, secondary
school
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,
college
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 , private training institute and
University
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types
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 of educational
setting
Fix the agreement mistake
settings
show examples
 in the
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Uk
Fix capitalization
UK
show examples
 in 2010 In
term
Check wording
terms
show examples
 of the
proportion
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 of
women
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teachers
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types
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 of educational setting in the
UK
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 in 2910 tends to concentrate on
Nursery
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/ pre-
school
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 account for 95%- it peaked
steady of the rate
Rephrase
steadily
show examples
, followed by primary
school
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 at around 85%. Secondary
school
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 and
college
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 occupied a mid- range position at 55%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, considerably lower
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 were observed in private training
institute
Check wording
institutes
show examples
 and
university
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 approximately 43%. When it comes to the
proportion
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 of
men
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Use synonyms
types
Change preposition
in various types
show examples
 of educational
setting
Fix the agreement mistake
settings
show examples
 in the
UK
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 in 2010 has changed significantly . Leadership is emphasized
university
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about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 70%,
then
Linking Words
 the rates went down sharply at
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
 training institute with57%.
All both
Correct determiner usage
Both
show examples
college
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 and secondary
school
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Linking Words
also
Check wording
students also
show examples
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
 to
steepl
Correct your spelling
steeply
 fall lead to
the chose
Replace the word
a choice of
Nursery
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/ pre -
school
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 than
men
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is extremely low
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
 10% It can be seen from the graph that the
proportion
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 of
men
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 and
women
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teachers
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 in six different
types
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 of educational
setting
Fix the agreement mistake
settings
show examples
 in the
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Uk
Fix capitalization
UK
show examples
 in 2010. The percentage of
women
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teachers
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 most prevalent
proportion
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 at
Nursery
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/ pre-
school
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Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 consistently recorded the lowest percentage .
By contrast
Linking Words
 , the most
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 of
men
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 is
university
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 and the lowest is
Nursery
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/ pre-
school
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 ,
whereas
Linking Words
 figure for
college
Use synonyms
 were large
stable
Correct word choice
and stable
show examples
 over the period

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, men, women, teachers, nursery, school, college, university, types, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender distribution
  • educational setting
  • primary education
  • secondary education
  • nursery school
  • higher education
  • proportion
  • outnumber
  • trend
  • comparison
  • historical factors
  • social influence
  • teaching profession
  • data interpretation
  • balance
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