the chart below shows the amount of leizure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
The graph compares the proportion of free
time
that males and females with different employment situations found enjoyable in 1998 and 1999.
Overall
, men
who were unemployed, retired and employed full-time
, found their leisure time
more joyful in comparison with women in the same groups. Additionally
, the other two groups namely, housewives and part-time
employed individuals did not include any men
.
As it
can be seen from the bar chart, regarding people with no jobs, Correct pronoun usage
apply
men
enjoyed about 85 hours
of their leisure time
, while
this
number for women was approximately 75 hours
. Furthermore
, a relatively similar observation with nearly the exact same data can be deduced from the retired group. Moreover
, male employees who worked full-time
used nearly 50 hours
of their free time
, whereas
females in this
category enjoyed less than 40 hours
of their leisure time
.
In contrast
, two groups of the
housewives and part-Correct article usage
apply
time
employees had no signs of men
in them and were just consisted of women in the years 1998 and 1999. It can be seen that,
the number of Remove the comma
apply
hours
that females enjoyed their free time
was almost 50 hours
for the first group, while
it was just above 40 hours
for the latter one.Submitted by fati.p98n on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, men, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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