Some people prefer to spend time with their own age group while others like to spend their time with different age groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a basic structure, but it needs to be more organized. Consider using clear paragraphs for the introduction, body (discussing both views), and conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to state your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclusion. This provides a more cohesive argument and makes your stance clear.
task achievement
Support your points with specific examples and detailed explanations. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on your sentence structure and grammar. Clear and correct sentences will make your ideas easier to understand.
task achievement
You have identified the main points for discussion and have attempted to address them, which is good for task response.
task achievement
The essay shows an effort to address both views, which demonstrates an understanding of the task requirements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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