Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The best way to deal with offenders is by ordering jail punishment but
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
possible way can be
Correct article usage
the rehabiliation
show examples
rehabiliation
Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
method. I believe the solution is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mid-way and cases should be handled based on situations that had affected the offences. Every crime has its own story which should be studied to predict
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
whether the
person
Use synonyms
can be offered another chance or not.
To begin
Linking Words
with, some criminals should never be allowed to
bailed
Add a missing verb
be bailed
show examples
out because their criminal history is indicative of their story. The most dangerous crimes are considered to
be arisen
Change to the active voice
arise
have arisen
show examples
from hatred or a certain kind of belief system a
person
Use synonyms
hosts in his mind. Even they can be
threat
Add an article
a threat
show examples
to the ones who are victim of their crimes.
For example
Linking Words
, sexual offenders cannot be ever allowed to live independently in society. They can significantly hinder the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
of their already targeted victims and affect
mental
Add an article
the mental
show examples
well-being of the individuals affected.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some unlawful incidents can be pardoned
such
Linking Words
as robbery, unlawful road behaviours and even bullying in schools. The criminals can be provided
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
chance where they should be observed to check their progress.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a poor
person
Use synonyms
does shoplifting
then
Linking Words
they are sometimes left with a warning.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, they are sent to some
rehabilatory
Correct your spelling
retaliatory
rehabilitator
facilities. In
such
Linking Words
places, they are trained to learn skills and in
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
they can earn many opportunities to showcase their skills and earn money. So, the real cause of the stealing money can be addressed and reduced. In conclusion, it depends on situations in which a
person
Use synonyms
commits crimes. The problem should be resolved depending on the cases.
However
Linking Words
, some criminals do not deserve to live in society freely because their thinking cannot make positive changes in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. Ergo, the resolution has to be a multifarious approach.
Submitted by Kiran on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction needs to be more precise and clearly outline your thesis. Consider reworking your first sentence for clarity and impact.
task achievement
Try to develop your arguments more fully and provide additional examples where possible. This will make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions seamlessly to the next. Work on developing a more logical flow from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Eliminate minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structures for greater clarity and coherence.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which enriches your essay.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help support your points effectively, especially in the discussion of rehabilitation and its benefits.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a clear conclusion that encapsulates your main arguments well.
coherence cohesion
You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, fulfilling essential essay components.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Reintegration
  • Vocational training
  • Incarceration
  • Deterrent
  • Correctional facilities
  • Reformative justice
  • Social reentry
  • Ex-offender
  • Criminal justice system
  • Restorative practices
  • Penal system
  • Social marginalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: