The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Over half a century, the
status
of women
in the
Correct article usage
apply
society
has been changing rapidly; however
, communities cannot substantiate the achievement of gender
equality. While
many groups of people favour this
viewpoint, I argue that legal implications, more job opportunities and right
to get Correct article usage
the right
education
provided by the government
in many countries to support female
category prove that there is no discrimination on Correct article usage
the female
gender
basis.
Primarily, improving the position of Correct article usage
a gender
females
is due to
the laws made in their favours
. To provide Fix the agreement mistake
favour
the
equal Correct article usage
apply
status
to every women
, higher authorities make rules and regulations to protect the dignity of Change to a singular noun
woman
females
such
as the law against the
domestic violence and Correct article usage
apply
annouce
some harsh punishments to the offenders. Correct your spelling
announce
This
leads to Correct article usage
a raise
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
the
Change preposition
in the
status
of females
in the
Correct article usage
apply
society
.
Besides
legal reforms, another reason to disagree with the statement is the availability of vocational opportunity
in every sector. To specify, in the past few decades, Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
females
are
Verb problem
have
holding
various positions in every work area, Wrong verb form
held
for example
, politics, sports and defensive services too
. It is evident that Rephrase
apply
women
are getting jobs not only without discrimination but also
at equal wages, thereby, representing the respectful status
of women
in society
.
Moreover
, females
are getting education
equally to males. Since Correct article usage
an education
government
schools
are providing free education
to a girl child and offer free of cost one time
Add a hyphen
free-of-cost one-time
meal
at Fix the agreement mistake
meals
schools
, parents allow their daughters to enrol in educational institutes whereas
in the past, education
was costly and parents prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
thier
sons to join Correct your spelling
their
schools
over daughters, leaving them illiterate. For example
, had the government
schools
of India not been disseminate
Wrong verb form
disseminating
education
equally to female child
, they would not have been able to hold a dignified position in the community.
In conclusion, some people think that they are yet to claim Fix the agreement mistake
children
the
equality on Correct article usage
apply
gender
basis even after the better Correct article usage
a gender
status
of women
in the
Correct article usage
apply
society
, but I think gender
equality could be witnessed at
every domain of life Change preposition
in
due to
the favour of government
.Add an article
the government
Submitted by immysandhu94 on
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task achievement
Your essay should have a clearer thesis statement in the introduction, explicitly stating your position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you are using appropriate topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly indicate the main point of that paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Do not repeat ideas excessively; focus on fully expanding and supporting each point before moving to the next one.
language accuracy
Review your grammatical structures to avoid simple but frequent errors, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect word forms.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary to illustrate your points and avoid repetition.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, which make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.