Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced number of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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With the advancement of technology ,

people

Use synonyms

use virtual ways of communication and spend less time with their friends and family members

Change preposition

show examples

face-to-face meetings.

This

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trend brings some positive

as well as

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some negative effects on

social

Correct article usage

the social

show examples

lives of individuals.I completely agree with the statement but it has more merits than demerits .The following essay will discuss it

with

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show examples

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

Firstly

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this

Linking Words

mode of communication increases

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

globalisation ,

people

Use synonyms

can contact anywhere in the world and

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

developed

business relations in different countries,because modern modes of

comminucation

Correct your spelling

communication

make it easy to import and export products.

For example

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, the purchaser is able to review the products online through video calls or pictures within seconds.

As a result

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,it is

benifical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for

national

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the national

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economy.

Moreover

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,it promotes cultures of nations ,

such

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people

Use synonyms

from different nations can communicate with

eachother

Correct your spelling

each other

and share their cultural norms.

Additionally

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, individuals who

lives

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live

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in foreign countries are able to talk with their family and friends through emails or video calls.

On the other hand

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,pupils spend more time in front of computers ,laptops or mobile phones

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that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is harmful

for

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their health ,

such

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as blue light damages visual

nervers

Correct your spelling

nerves

servers

as well as

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disrupt

Correct subject-verb agreement

disrupts

show examples

intelluctual

Correct your spelling

intellectual

abilities of the young generation.

Furthermore

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people

Use synonyms

spend more time sitting in front of modern gadgets,and do less physical activities

as a result

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,becoming obese,less Sun exposure

cause

Replace the word

causes

show examples

osteoprosis

Correct your spelling

osteoporosis

and living alone leads to mental disturbance and stress.

People

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are able to communicate through text messages but when meet physically they are unable to express their emotions ,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

leads to depression,but

this

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can be controlled by using

this

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technology wisely .

To conclude

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although

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modern technology has negative impacts on

social

Correct article usage

the social

show examples

relations of

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

,these can be overcome by using it wisely.

Furthermore

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,it is able to promote

economy

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

through international relations and local business ,

cultural

Correct word choice

and cultural

show examples

norms

Change preposition

through

show examples

diverse communication .It has more positive outcomes than disadvantages.

atiyaWed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

While your introduction does well to outline your stance and the direction of the essay, it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that summarizes the main points you will discuss.

task achievement

There are occasional spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'benifical' should be 'beneficial'), which could be distracting and might affect the clarity of your ideas. Proofreading can help reduce such errors.

coherence cohesion

Try to use varied and more sophisticated vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher command of the language.

coherence cohesion

Better organization of your paragraphs is needed. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea that is clearly stated at the beginning and supported with relevant examples. Ensure smooth transitions between the ideas.

task achievement

You provide a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of modern communication methods. This shows a mature understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay concludes effectively by summarizing the key points and reiterating your stance on the issue, which provides a clear and satisfying end to your argument.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

digital communication
face-to-face interactions
superficial relationships
social bonds
non-verbal cues
text-based communication
tone of voice
facial expressions
body language
digital presence
real-life relationships
deterioration
long-distance relationships
misunderstandings
emotional richness

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Some people believe the purpose of education is to make people useful to society. Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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