Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced number of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree
With the advancement of technology ,
people
use virtual ways of communication and spend less time with their friends and family members Use synonyms
on
face-to-face meetings.Change preposition
in
This
trend brings some positive Linking Words
as well as
some negative effects on Linking Words
social
lives of individuals.I completely agree with the statement but it has more merits than demerits .The following essay will discuss it Correct article usage
the social
with
Change preposition
in
details
.
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
Firstly
,Linking Words
this
mode of communication increases Linking Words
the
globalisation ,Correct article usage
apply
people
can contact anywhere in the world and Use synonyms
develope
business relations in different countries,because modern modes of Correct your spelling
develop
developed
comminucation
make it easy to import and export products.Correct your spelling
communication
For example
, the purchaser is able to review the products online through video calls or pictures within seconds.Linking Words
As a result
,it is Linking Words
benifical
for Correct your spelling
beneficial
national
economy.Add an article
the national
Moreover
,it promotes cultures of nations ,Linking Words
such
as Linking Words
people
from different nations can communicate with Use synonyms
eachother
and share their cultural norms.Correct your spelling
each other
Additionally
, individuals who Linking Words
lives
in foreign countries are able to talk with their family and friends through emails or video calls.
Change the verb form
live
On the other hand
,pupils spend more time in front of computers ,laptops or mobile phones Linking Words
Linking Words
that
is harmful Correct pronoun usage
which
for
their health ,Change the preposition
to
such
as blue light damages visual Linking Words
nervers
Correct your spelling
nerves
servers
as well as
Linking Words
disrupt
Correct subject-verb agreement
disrupts
intelluctual
abilities of the young generation.Correct your spelling
intellectual
Furthermore
,Linking Words
people
spend more time sitting in front of modern gadgets,and do less physical activities Use synonyms
as a result
,becoming obese,less Sun exposure Linking Words
cause
Replace the word
causes
osteoprosis
and living alone leads to mental disturbance and stress.Correct your spelling
osteoporosis
People
are able to communicate through text messages but when meet physically they are unable to express their emotions ,Use synonyms
that
leads to depression,but Correct pronoun usage
which
this
can be controlled by using Linking Words
this
technology wisely .
Linking Words
To conclude
,Linking Words
although
modern technology has negative impacts on Linking Words
social
relations of Correct article usage
the social
public
,these can be overcome by using it wisely.Correct article usage
the public
Furthermore
,it is able to promote Linking Words
economy
through international relations and local business ,Correct article usage
the economy
cultural
norms Correct word choice
and cultural
by
diverse communication .It has more positive outcomes than disadvantages.Change preposition
through
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task achievement
While your introduction does well to outline your stance and the direction of the essay, it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that summarizes the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
There are occasional spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'benifical' should be 'beneficial'), which could be distracting and might affect the clarity of your ideas. Proofreading can help reduce such errors.
coherence cohesion
Try to use varied and more sophisticated vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher command of the language.
coherence cohesion
Better organization of your paragraphs is needed. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea that is clearly stated at the beginning and supported with relevant examples. Ensure smooth transitions between the ideas.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of modern communication methods. This shows a mature understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes effectively by summarizing the key points and reiterating your stance on the issue, which provides a clear and satisfying end to your argument.