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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the percentage of men and women who did various free time activities in England.

The chart below shows the percentage of men and women who did various free time activities in England.
#percentage #men #women #time #activities #england
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The chart illustrates how
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 spend their free
time
Use synonyms
 on various activities in England.
Overall
Linking Words
, more
women
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 than
men
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 spend
time
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 with family and when shopping in their free
time
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for other activities.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was a dramatic difference between the proportions of
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 who went shopping and used the Internet. In
further
Linking Words
 detail, watching TV was the most popular activity among
both
Use synonyms
 genders, which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for more than three-quarters. Spending
time
Use synonyms
 with family, despite having an opposite pattern,
also
Linking Words
 had the majority of
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 do
this
Linking Words
 in their free
time
Use synonyms
, recorded at around 76% for
both
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 sexes. The solitary activities
such
Linking Words
 as doing sport/ exercise and reading,
however
Linking Words
, had more
men
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 than
women
Use synonyms
 involved, at about 72% for
women
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 and nearly 75% for
men
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. Moving on to other categories where the disparities were much more considerable, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 who went shopping was nearly three times higher than that of
men
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, making it the biggest gap between
both
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 genders.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the figure for
men
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 using the Internet outnumbered that for
women
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, at around 73% and 40% respectively. Playing computer games,
however
Linking Words
, was least
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
 by
both
Use synonyms
men
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 and
women
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, at under one-fifth.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, time, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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