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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk #information #features #comparisions
Illustrated in the provided bar chart is
expense
Add an article
an expense
the expense
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on
Change preposition
of
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 three types of service made by UK dwellers broken down by
age
 groups during 2004. From an observational perspective, it is evident
how
Correct word choice
that
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 as people got older, there was an upward trend in
food
 and
drink
 spending.
In addition
 to
this
,
food
 and
drink
 took over a majority
in
Change preposition
of
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 the surveyed expenditure, with the exception of those under 30 in which restaurant and hotel
was
Change the verb form
were
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 where payment
predominantly
Add a missing verb
was predominantly
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 put
on
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apply
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. With regards to the 60 and below where great discrepancy did not occur, restaurant and hotel completely dominated
food
 and
drink
along with
 entertainment when it comes to how much the residents spent on each, with nearly 2.5 times greater prevalence observed.
However
, as the
age
 group grew higher,
this
 figure became slowly surpassed
by
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apply
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food
 and
drink’s
Change noun form
drink
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 spending by those whose
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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ranging
Wrong verb form
ranged
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 between 31 and 45 (by about 2%), and with entertainment expenditure exceeding it as people turned 46 to 60, at above 16% and around 14%, respectively. Considering the 61-75
age
 group, in which the largest disparity between the conducted categories was experienced, restaurant and hotel
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
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 of these people stood at a minor of approximately 2%,
while
food
 and
drink’s
Change noun form
drink
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 reached exactly
at
Change preposition
apply
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20%, and
a
Correct article usage
apply
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slight
Change the word
slightly
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 greater by about 3% made by
entertainment’s
Change the noun form
entertainments
entertainment
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. In terms of the over 76,
whereas
 the differences between each assessed spending got shortened (below 10% greater by distinct following as the figure got extended),
food
 and
drink
 had its expense reach its peak for the entire year.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, food, drink with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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