IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk #information #features #comparisions
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Illustrated in the provided bar chart is
expense
Add an article
an expense
the expense
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on
Change preposition
of
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 three types of service made by UK dwellers broken down by
age
Use synonyms
 groups during 2004. From an observational perspective, it is evident
how
Correct word choice
that
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 as people got older, there was an upward trend in
food
Use synonyms
 and
drink
Use synonyms
 spending.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
food
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 and
drink
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 took over a majority
in
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of
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 the surveyed expenditure, with the exception of those under 30 in which restaurant and hotel
was
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were
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 where payment
predominantly
Add a missing verb
was predominantly
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 put
on
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apply
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. With regards to the 60 and below where great discrepancy did not occur, restaurant and hotel completely dominated
food
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 and
drink
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along with
Linking Words
 entertainment when it comes to how much the residents spent on each, with nearly 2.5 times greater prevalence observed.
However
Linking Words
, as the
age
Use synonyms
 group grew higher,
this
Linking Words
 figure became slowly surpassed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
drink’s
Change noun form
drink
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 spending by those whose
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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ranging
Wrong verb form
ranged
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 between 31 and 45 (by about 2%), and with entertainment expenditure exceeding it as people turned 46 to 60, at above 16% and around 14%, respectively. Considering the 61-75
age
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 group, in which the largest disparity between the conducted categories was experienced, restaurant and hotel
expense
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expenses
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 of these people stood at a minor of approximately 2%,
while
Linking Words
food
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 and
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drink’s
Change noun form
drink
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 reached exactly
at
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apply
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20%, and
a
Correct article usage
apply
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slight
Change the word
slightly
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 greater by about 3% made by
entertainment’s
Change the noun form
entertainments
entertainment
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. In terms of the over 76,
whereas
Linking Words
 the differences between each assessed spending got shortened (below 10% greater by distinct following as the figure got extended),
food
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 and
drink
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 had its expense reach its peak for the entire year.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, food, drink with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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