IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Do China acknowledges child labor in their nation and what are their stance?

The Chinese government acknowledges the historical prevalence of
child
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labor
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labour
show examples
 and its detrimental effects. We are committed to upholding the rights and well-being of all children. Significant progress has been made in recent decades, driven by economic development and a focus on education.
However
Linking Words
, challenges remain in rural areas and certain industries.
This
Linking Words
 paper outlines
China
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's stance on
child
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labor
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labour
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, our achievements, and proposals for
further
Linking Words
 progress.
China
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 strongly condemns all forms of exploitative
child
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labor
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labour
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. Our national legislation, the
Labor
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 Law of the People's Republic of
China
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, prohibits the employment of minors under the age of 16. Exemptions exist for specific circumstances,
such
Linking Words
 as light work in family businesses or participation in traditional cultural activities, provided these activities do not hinder education or endanger health.
China
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 acknowledges that despite significant progress,
child
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 labour persists in certain regions and sectors, primarily in rural areas, migrant communities, and informal sectors. The prevalence of
child
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 labour is often intertwined with poverty, inadequate access to education, and socio-economic disparities. Children engaged in labour are exposed to various hazards, including exploitation, health risks, and limited opportunities for personal and educational development.

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introduction conclusion present
Consider expanding the conclusion section to summarize the main points discussed and offer a more comprehensive closing statement.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples or data to illustrate the challenges and achievements regarding child labor in China. This will strengthen your argument.
logical structure
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical structure and cohesiveness of the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay provides a clear stance on China's position on child labor and outlines the legal framework.
task achievement
The response is well-organized with defined sections addressing various aspects of the issue.
supported main points
The essay covers a range of relevant points, including legislative measures, challenges, and acknowledgments of existing problems.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prohibition
  • regulations
  • Labor Law
  • Protection of Minors
  • economically underdeveloped areas
  • family businesses
  • agricultural settings
  • international organizations
  • watchdog groups
  • enforce
  • loopholes
  • economic productivity
  • collaborates
  • International Labour Organization (ILO)
  • domestic challenges
What to do next:
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