Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are
students
in college who learn other subjects
outside their major to enrich their knowledges
. Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
While
some people believe in that, other students
argue that peple
should pay attention Correct your spelling
people
in
their major Change preposition
to
instead
of learning other subjects
because it might distracts
their focus. In Change the verb form
distract
this
essay
we will discuss from both perspectives .
As a Add a comma
essay,
student
, it is paramount to broaden and enrich their knowledges
with various resources. Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
This
knowledge enrichment would be helpful for them to pursue their career or research because there are some subjects
that could difference
them Replace the word
differentiate
with
other Change preposition
from
students
and might be a point-plus for them. For example
, I was majoring in Computer Science, however
, I went to oil
and mining Correct article usage
an oil
class
in Fix the agreement mistake
classes
other
faculty because I wanted to pursue my dream in oil management computation and Correct quantifier usage
another
this
subject
was not available in my major. Therefore
, attending other classes in different major
would benefit Fix the agreement mistake
majors
student
with specific materials Fix the agreement mistake
students
which
they aspire.
Change preposition
to which
On the other hand
, there must be boundaries between subject
areas that still benefit the students
because choosing other sucjects
which not relevant Correct your spelling
subjects
with
the main Change preposition
to
subject
would distract their focus. In all subjects
, there are tasks that would deepen student
's understanding and obviously, it will consume their time. Moreover
, if the subjects
are not relevant with
their major, they would end up Change preposition
to
spend
their time Change the form of the verb
spending
to finish
additional Change the verb form
finishing
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
whereas
these subjects
are not required to graduate. For instance
, my friend in college attended philosophy class
while
her major is
Computer Science, and when there was Wrong verb form
was
mid-term
exam, she put Add an article
a mid-term
the mid-term
her
effort more Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
the philosophy Change preposition
into
class
and failed in Calculus class
because she put more efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
in learned
about philosophy rather than her main major's Change preposition
into learning
subjects
. In conclusion, it is important to filter which subjects
outside student
's main major that benefit them.
To conclude
, learn
materials other than our main Change the form of the verb
learning
subject
would provide us broader
Change preposition
with broader
knowledges
. Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
However
, it is important for students
to be more selective about the
Change the word
their
knowledges
because they might learn Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
subjects
which not relevant with
their major and it might Change preposition
to
distracts
Change the verb form
distract
they
focus.Correct pronoun usage
their
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coherence cohesion
Your essay generally follows a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, it could benefit from more logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Try to use linking words and phrases more effectively for better flow.
task achievement
While your essay addresses both perspectives and provides relevant examples, make sure your main points are always clearly supported and elaborated. Adding some more specific details or explanations could strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly and with fewer grammatical mistakes. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the consistent use of plural forms. For example, 'knowledge' is always uncountable, so 'knowledges' should be 'knowledge.'
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay by clearly stating the topic and indicating that both perspectives will be discussed. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion appropriately summarizes your arguments and restates your main points, providing a sense of closure.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant examples from your personal experience to explain your viewpoints better. This adds credibility to your arguments and helps the reader understand your points more easily.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?