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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the production of olive oil. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the production of olive oil. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram demonstrates the procedure for manufacturing olive
oil
Use synonyms
 in a factory.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there are seven distinct steps in olive
oil
Use synonyms
 production, starting from harvesting the unripe olive fruit and ending with the sale of the final product.
Firstly
Linking Words
, mature olives are gathered by workers from the olive trees and cleansed with cold water to remove all the dirt.
Next,
Linking Words
using a conveyor belt, the washed olives are placed into a specialized container, where the crushing process occurs.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 step, the olives are separated into olive paste and seeds. These stones are no longer required and are discarded. In the fourth stage, the olive paste is packed into perforated bags and pressed under pressure.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, it is moved to a separating machine that divides it into water and pure
oil
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
oil
Use synonyms
 is stored in bottles for easy handling and packaged in boxes before being distributed to various markets for sale.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words oil with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Harvesting - the process of collecting ripe fruits, such as olives, from trees.
  • Rinsing - washing thoroughly with water to clean away debris or impurities.
  • Crushing - smashing or grinding something into small pieces or a paste.
  • Paste - a thick, soft mixture formed by crushing olives.
  • Pressing - the act of applying force to extract liquid.
  • Centrifuge - a machine that separates substances of different densities by spinning them rapidly.
  • Filtering - the process of removing impurities or unwanted particles from a liquid.
  • Bottling - packaging liquid in bottles for storage or sale.
  • Impurities - unwanted or foreign substances within a mixture.
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