The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020.

#bar #percentages #canadian #workforce #five #industries

The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of Canadians working in different major

industries

in the years 1850 and 2020.

Overall

while

most

industries

saw higher numbers of Canadian workers in 1850, there was a noticeable increase in

employment

in the service sector in 2020. Looking specifically at the service and construction

industries

, they employed more Canadians in 2020, with percentages of 81% and 8% respectively.

In contrast

, in 1850, these

industries

employed 3% and 5% of the workforce. Notably, the service industry in 2020 experienced the highest

employment

rates ever recorded for both periods. Regarding other sectors,

employment

rates were higher in 1850 compared to 2020.

For instance

, Canadians were most inclined towards manufacturing roles, accounting for 36% of the workforce in 1850.

However

, by 2020,

this

percentage had decreased significantly.

Similarly

, the agricultural/fishing sector accounted for 22% of

employment

in 1850 but declined drastically to 1% by 2020. Changes in the energy sector followed a similar trend, starting at 3% in 1850 and decreasing to 1% by 2020.

Submitted by adebimpeanimawun on Thu Jun 06 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words industries, employment with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

170 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020.

you and some friends ate meal at a restaurant to celebrate a special occasion, and you wre very pleased with the food and sevise.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resouces. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statatment?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).