Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuess both these views and give your own opinion.

The question of
wether
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whether
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university
students
should be assigned
with
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apply
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extra courses or be confined
in
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to
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their only qualification has been the central topic of many ongoing debates, with many people believing that being
expossd
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exposed
to various
subjects
is beneficial and others claiming
otherwise
. In my personal
opinon
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opinion
,
however
,
students
should have the freedom of choice to
study
the
subjects
that serve
to
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apply
show examples
their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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, regardless of their relation to learners' previously chosen field of
study
. On the one hand, it is believed that providing learners with the opportunity
of attending
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to attend
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different classes and
acquiring
Wrong verb form
acquire
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fresh insights on various
subjects
, can be a great help
to develop
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in developing
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high-level thinking and
find
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finding
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creative solutions to
the
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apply
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existing problems.
This
,
in other words
, is to
assisst
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assist
students
to gain a broader view and look at things through various lenses that each focus on one aspect of the existing reality. Needless to say, with the advent of Artificial
Inteligence
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intelligence
and its profound database across fields of
study
, the mentioned creativity may be an important factor that destinguishes what a human is capable of doing and
the
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
AI yet fails to accomplish.
However
, it is understandable that some argue against additional
unversity
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university
courses with the logic that suggests being laser-focused on one's current field of
study
is the only means of becoming a qualified expert. Undoubtedly, if
students
spend several years of their lives delving into certain
subjects
, they will grow an inevitable deep understanding of the matter which will play an important role in their academic life. Considering
this
, the narrowness of the learners' knowledge, as opposed to its depth, is still an unsolvable issue for individuals holding
this
view. In conclusion, despite people having contrary ideas, I consider additional courses an indispensable part of
students
' academic journey because of the wide perspective
it
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they
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brings
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bring
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about which can , in
near
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the near
show examples
future, lead to valuable innovations.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
The essay addresses both views and gives a clear opinion, which is very good. However, to achieve a higher score, you should include more specific examples to support your main points.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, but there are a few minor grammatical errors and word choice issues. Proofreading could improve your essay in this regard.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and logical structure. This could be improved by breaking down some of the more complex sentences into simpler ones.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, providing a clear outline of your arguments and a concise summary of your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, with a logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced discussion, addressing both views before giving your own opinion. This is a strong point in terms of task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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