Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Dou you think advantages of working from outweigh the disadvantages?
There is a controversial debate over the matter if workers are better
to work
remotely or Change preposition
off working
they
should be present at Correct pronoun usage
apply
office
. Many people argue that working from home is advantageous; Add an article
the office
however
, I hold the conviction that there are also
some demerits.
On the one hand, there is a widely held belief that remote working can give employees
freedom. This
is to say, many workers may accomplish their tasks and their remaining time can be dedicated to learning new skills or expanding the previous ones. The other probable influencing factor might be enhancing the productivity of workers. In other words
, employees
do not feel obliged to travel to their workplaces; consequently
, they strive to finalize their tasks completely and without any errors, which leads to a higher proficiency. Staff in Microsoft, for instance
, has been working remotely two days per week since 2021; interestingly, according to
a survey conducted in this
company, job
satisfaction rate has grown Correct article usage
the job
up
by 40 percent.
Change preposition
apply
However
, many think that employees
who are allowed to work remotely might underperform as there is no strict supervision on
their function. Change preposition
of
Therefore
, companies might face some harmful consequences as a result
of their employees
' malfunctions. The other demerit of remote working that is
worth considering is that it can bring about social isolation, meaning that individuals who do not go to their workplaces have less
interactions with other people leading to depression, weaker social connections, and several Change the quantifier
fewer
behavioral
problems. During the COVID-19 pandemic, Change the spelling
behavioural
according to
research, the rate of depression among employees
increased by about 60 percent
. Change the spelling
per cent
Employees
reported that their daily chat with their colleagues used to play a motivating role whereas
after lock-down
they significantly felt isolated.
In conclusion, after considering both viewpoints, I am inclined to believe that, Correct your spelling
lockdown
although
working from can offer more freedom, being present at workplace
can cause people to stay more active and enthusiastic to continue their Add an article
the workplace
works
.Fix the agreement mistake
work
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on
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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but you may want to refine your thesis statement to more clearly define your position on the issue of remote work versus in-office work. This could enhance your clarity and precise focus from the outset.
coherence cohesion
In your body paragraphs, ensure each main point is clearly linked to the central argument. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, to further enhance cohesion.
language
Pay attention to minor grammatical inaccuracies and word choices to ensure polished and precise language use throughout your essay.
task achievement
You presented a balanced discussion, covering both the advantages and disadvantages of working remotely, which showcases your ability to think critically and provide a comprehensive response.
task achievement
You supported your points with specific examples, improving the relevancy and strength of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. This aids readability and coherence.