the graph below shows in percentage terms the changing attern of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK.

the graph below shows in percentage terms the changing attern of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK.
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The graph provides about changing patterns of domestic
access
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to modern technology incomes in the United Kingdom. Patterns like
CD
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a CD
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player, Home computer and Internet
access
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increased steadily,
meanwhile
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meanwhile,
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there was a slight fluctuation in the changing of Mobile telephone. There were
rises
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rise
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in CD
player’s
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players’
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access
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to modern technology from about 60
percent
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per cent
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to about 80
percent
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per cent
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.
Likewise
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, there was a gradual rise for Home computers from 1996/1997 to 2002/2003 by about 25
percent
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per cent
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.
Furthermore
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, for Internet
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access
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access,
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the trend was slightly upward from 1998/1999 to 2002/2003. It is noticeable that the domestic
access
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to modern technology in homes in the UK for CD players was always higher than the other three patterns.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words access with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "rises" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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