Traffic and accommodation problems are increasing and government should encourage some businesses to move from cities to rural areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In
this
modern era, cities are much
crowded
Correct quantifier usage
more crowded
show examples
because in
rece
Correct your spelling
recent
years people
move
Wrong verb form
have moved
show examples
to
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
from small villages for better facilities and good employment opportunities.
Due to
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
authorities should make efforts to start workplaces in rural areas to minimise
this
situation. I will describe my views on the issue in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
paragraphs. To
embark
Verb problem
begin
show examples
with, it is good progress for the nation if new factories or mills
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
constructed in rural areas
due to
which individuals have many work vacancies
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. And
this
step may help in
make
Change the form of the verb
making
show examples
the cities clean and prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pollution
such
as air pollution and noise pollution.
Moreover
,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most of
show examples
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
migrate to towns for higher education or if new colleges or universities
will
Verb problem
are
show examples
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
in small villages it will stop the migration and students will be able to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success in their academics without moving to
further
places.
On the other hand
, it has
also
some drawbacks as if new buildings
will
Verb problem
are
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
in small villages it will
do
Verb problem
cause
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land degradation because factories's smoke and dirty water with chemicals may flow
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
farmland
Correct article usage
the farmland
show examples
which makes the less productive
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
wheat and
corns
Fix the agreement mistake
corn
show examples
.
In addition
to
this
, to start that process authorities may have to cut down the trees which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
imbalance
Correct article usage
an imbalance
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
ecosystem and natural environment because plants
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fresh oxygen and shelter for natural habitats. In conclusion, it is concluded that everything has its own pros and cons but
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
is
also
necessary.
Apart from
this
, it is detrimental to reduce traffic congestion and improve accommodation, so everything should be done in limitations without
harm
Wrong verb form
harming
show examples
the environment.
Submitted by manpreetkaurzzx on

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the context, but the thesis statement could be more precise in indicating your stance. This would help make your essay clearer and more compelling.
task achievement
Some ideas in the body paragraphs are well-explained, but others lack sufficient development and specific details. For instance, the effects of pollution on farmland could be elaborated on with more concrete examples.
coherence cohesion
Focus on maintaining a clear and logical structure. Some points feel disjointed, particularly the transition between pollution and education. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and relates back to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, but it should also reaffirm your stance in a more decisive way. Try to bring the essay full circle, relating back to your initial thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments. This will improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic development
  • Capital infusion
  • Job opportunities
  • Standard of living
  • Urban overcrowding
  • Quality of life
  • Housing pressure
  • Healthcare pressure
  • Disruption
  • Deforestation
  • Pollution
  • Financial burden
  • Smaller companies
  • Infrastructure deficiencies
  • Sophisticated infrastructure
  • High-speed internet
  • Robust transportation networks
  • Modern amenities
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