Traffic and accommodation problems are increasing and government should encourage some businesses to move from cities to rural areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
In
this
modern era, cities are much crowded
because in Correct quantifier usage
more crowded
rece
years people Correct your spelling
recent
move
to Wrong verb form
have moved
countryside
from small villages for better facilities and good employment opportunities. Correct article usage
the countryside
Due to
which
authorities should make efforts to start workplaces in rural areas to minimise Correct pronoun usage
this
this
situation. I will describe my views on the issue in following
paragraphs.
To Correct article usage
the following
embark
with, it is good progress for the nation if new factories or mills Verb problem
begin
will be
constructed in rural areas Wrong verb form
are
due to
which individuals have many work vacancies nearby
their Correct your spelling
near
home
. And Fix the agreement mistake
homes
this
step may help in make
the cities clean and prevent Change the form of the verb
making
from
pollution Change preposition
apply
such
as air pollution and noise pollution. Moreover
, mostly
Correct your spelling
most of
population
migrate to towns for higher education or if new colleges or universities Correct article usage
the population
will
Verb problem
are
build
in small villages it will stop the migration and students will be able to achieve Wrong verb form
built
the
success in their academics without moving to Correct article usage
apply
further
places.
On the other hand
, it has also
some drawbacks as if new buildings will
Verb problem
are
make
in small villages it will Wrong verb form
made
do
Verb problem
cause
the
land degradation because factories's smoke and dirty water with chemicals may flow Correct article usage
apply
in
Change preposition
into
farmland
which makes the less productive Correct article usage
the farmland
of
wheat and Change preposition
apply
corns
. Fix the agreement mistake
corn
In addition
to this
, to start that process authorities may have to cut down the trees which cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
imbalance
Correct article usage
an imbalance
the
ecosystem and natural environment because plants Change preposition
in the
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
a
fresh oxygen and shelter for natural habitats.
In conclusion, it is concluded that everything has its own pros and cons but Remove the article
apply
development
of Add an article
the development
country
is Add an article
the country
a country
also
necessary. Apart from
this
, it is detrimental to reduce traffic congestion and improve accommodation, so everything should be done in limitations without harm
the environment.Wrong verb form
harming
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task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the context, but the thesis statement could be more precise in indicating your stance. This would help make your essay clearer and more compelling.
task achievement
Some ideas in the body paragraphs are well-explained, but others lack sufficient development and specific details. For instance, the effects of pollution on farmland could be elaborated on with more concrete examples.
coherence cohesion
Focus on maintaining a clear and logical structure. Some points feel disjointed, particularly the transition between pollution and education. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and relates back to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, but it should also reaffirm your stance in a more decisive way. Try to bring the essay full circle, relating back to your initial thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments. This will improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.