The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
A glance at the pie charts delineates statistics about the commensurability of pupils' ability to speak a foreign
language
in addition
to English at an unnamed British university in the years 2000 and 2010.
Overall
, it can explicitly be perceived that speaking only in Spanish had the most proponents for both years.
Furthermore
, some
students
tended to speak only either French or German.
Therefore
, some of them were able to communicate with people not only in another
language
but
also
in two other
languages
,
while
there were still
students
who could speak only English at a higher in 2000 than in 2010. Looking into more details for
languages
spoken in 2000, a third of the
students
had a potential for Spain, which was the climax. Germany and France were
also
their favourites, at 10% and 15% respectively. For some
students
who spoke another foreign
language
, 15% was higher than that of two other
languages
, at 10 per cent. Of course, as much as a fifth preferred to learn neither other
languages
. Concerning 2010, meanwhile, it should be noted that Spanish kept rising by 35%. Levelling off for German, a lower amount of 10% liked French. As the figure for both another
language
and two
languages
increased staggeringly by the same percentage of 5,
this
amount, which is 10% altogether, corresponded to the decline of
students
who lacked any knowledge of other
languages
.
Submitted by mohammadhassan.rajati on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words language, students, languages with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • multilingualism
  • globalisation
  • immigration
  • education policy
  • career prospects
  • cultural understanding
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • increased/decreased
  • significant
  • trends
  • shifts
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