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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#children #age #group #percentage #population #kingdom #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The graph gives information about
children
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
olders
Correct your spelling
holders
older
 with many
children
 as
proportion
Add an article
a proportion
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young citizens in the UK from 1990 to 2001 .
Overall
, the
line
 graph illustrated four types
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 who
borned
Verb problem
were born
show examples
 from 0-4
years
 , 5-9
years
, 10-14
years
 and
15to
Correct your spelling
15
 19
years
 old
However
 we can
seen
Change the verb form
see
show examples
 that there was a significant change from the age 15 to 19
years
in addition
 that age was the lowest number in the chart
in contrast
 the highest percentage of
children
 was who born from zero to four
years
. First of all, the age from 0-4 was increased to reach the top percentage in 1992 after that the
line
 dropped gradually to
accounted
Change the form of the verb
account
show examples
 for under 24% in the year 2001
whereas
, the red
line
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 dramatically till the
ended
Replace the word
end
show examples
 of 1994
then
 the red
line
 rose slightly until in 1997
subsequently
 dipped down in 2001 .
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the trend of
children
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 between 15 and 19
yeas
Correct your spelling
years
show examples
was decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 sharply to reach
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lower points in 1994 after which went the
line
 upward to reach the top
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2001.
Submitted by sialamer on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words children, line, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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