IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The picture below shows the difference in the layout of the conference centre in 2010 and 2025. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#picture #difference #layout #conference #centre #summarise #information #features #comparisons
Presented in the provided maps is how a debate hall will
probaly
Correct your spelling
probably
 look like in 2025 compared to itself in 2010. From an observational perspective, in order to accommodate a larger number of people, transportation access is expected to undergo gradual shifts for additional residential
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Additionally
, not only the expansion of the former green lobby
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 there will be varied amenities in use for entertainment refreshment
along with
 some new workspaces,
while
 the northern west corner is anticipated to remain unchanged. With regards to how the car park may be altered, it is a relocation to completely east
as well as
 being
shortend
Correct your spelling
shortened
 in size that the parking lot is intended to experience by 2025, making way for a newly-erected 20-room residence hall after expanding the previous hall.
Furthermore
,
this
 amendment in the parking ramp will possibly bring about the enlarged reception site, alongside the merge of the earlier 2 separated gardens. Contrastly, if the predicted layout is approved, the two rooms on the
north west
Correct your spelling
northwest
show examples
 will be kept completely intact, and so will their entry. Turning to the bottommost, the
sourthern
Correct your spelling
southern
 west corner is planned to construct an IT centre, adjacent to which is a self-catering kitchen, on the left side of two similar projected
broadrooms
Correct your spelling
boardrooms
.
Moreover
, a music zone next to the car park will have been in service concurrently with a gaming lounge right above it, subsequent to the authorization for the awaited design.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly and concisely states the purpose of the report. The introduction here is slightly vague and could be more focused.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the paragraphs. Some parts of the essay appear to lack clear organization and flow. Consider using more transitional phrases between ideas.
task achievement
Provide more comprehensive and clear ideas. Some sections, especially the one discussing the changes in the southern west corner, could be expressed more clearly.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and details, especially when discussing new amenities and facilities, to provide a clearer picture of the changes.
task achievement
The essay covers the main features and changes between the two layouts, which shows a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
The points mentioned are generally relevant and specific, even if they could be expanded or clarified further.
coherence cohesion
The presence of an introduction and structured paragraphs indicates a good attempt at organizing the information logically.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: