The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The dominant
film
industry in the world is American
. Some people
see this
is
a bad thing and think that governments should invest money in their Correct your spelling
as
film
industries to protect and develop their culture
. I would agree with this
to an extent however
I also
think there are advantages to the
Correct article usage
apply
American
films
.
The problem with American
films
is the culture
there is in them. Many people
see American
films
and want to act in the same way
and look the same as the stars. Many people
have the same American
values and want
wear the same clothes. Add the particle
want to
This
is a problem because of
some traditional values and customs are Change preposition
apply
losing
in different countries. Sometimes Wrong verb form
lost
American
studios make movies about other countrys
history and they change the stories. That Change noun form
countrys'
country's
way
young people
believe them and forget their real history and culture
.For
this
reason
some Add a comma
reason,
people
say that governments should invest money in film
industries in their country
On the other hand
, American
films
are seen by people
all over the world. The film
studios have very much money that they use to make spectacle films
. The films
look amazing on screen and wacthing
them is a Correct your spelling
watching
way
of escape
from your life for a short time. Wrong verb form
escaping
Furthermore
, many people
get exposed to English through American
films
and it can help people
learn.
In conclusion, I think that there are some advantages to Hollywood films
. They are amazing to see in cinemas and exciting for everybody. But , films
are a good way
for keeping
Change preposition
to keep
culture
and it is good for people
to see different culture
in Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
films
.Submitted by bhavifasai on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task, but there are a few areas where the response could be more complete. More detailed examples and elaboration on points made would strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The ideas are generally clear but could benefit from more precise vocabulary and varied sentence structures. Pay attention to grammatical accuracy to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Linking words and phrases can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph introduces and develops a single idea. This will help improve the coherence and flow of the essay.
task achievement
The writer presents both sides of the argument, acknowledging the influence of American films and the need for governments to invest in their own film industries.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a complete structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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