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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #results #questionnaire #visitors #parkway #hotel #customer #service #guests #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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Pie charts demonstrate the output data of
survey
Correct article usage
the survey
show examples
 that was given to
parkway
Capitalize word
Parkway
show examples
hotel
Use synonyms
 visitors to provide feedback
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how they rated
hotel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
residents
Change noun form
residents'
resident's
show examples
service
Use synonyms
. The survey was done
tow
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 times in
to
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 different years 2005 and 2010 and targeted 100 visitors during both years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 voted that the
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 satisfactory in the year 2005,
while
Linking Words
, in 2010 good
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
dominate
Wrong verb form
dominated
show examples
 the pie chart. Meanwhile, a small
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
 of
residents
Use synonyms
 focused that
service
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 excellent in 2005, pie chart of 2010 illustrates that almost the same
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
 said that the
service
Use synonyms
 was very poor. On the one hand, in 2005, 45% of the survey candidates showed satisfaction towards
hotel
Use synonyms
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
. In context,
people
Use synonyms
 who said that the
hotel
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
weas
Correct your spelling
was
 good are almost equal to
people
Use synonyms
 who voted that the
service
Use synonyms
 was very poor as both
represents
Change the verb form
represent
show examples
 about 15% of the total visitors. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, the 5%
Use synonyms
residents
Change preposition
of residents
show examples
 who answered that the
service
Use synonyms
 was excellent, 21%
Use synonyms
residents
Change preposition
of residents
show examples
 consider it poor
service
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2010, 39 %
customers
Change preposition
of customers
show examples
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
customer
Use synonyms
 help as good,
although
Linking Words
 the sum of
people
Use synonyms
 who were satisfied and who agreed that the help was poor is equal to the
people
Use synonyms
 who said that
service
Use synonyms
 was superior. And only 4% of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
service
Use synonyms
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 inferior.
Submitted by besoyam on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hotel, residents, service, people, customer with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • customer service
  • questionnaire
  • survey
  • respondents
  • rating scale
  • hospitality
  • customer satisfaction
  • comparison
  • data
  • trends
  • improvement
  • deterioration
  • feedback
  • service areas
  • hospitality industry
  • guest experience
  • satisfaction level
  • to rate
  • significant
  • frequency
  • percentage
  • chart
  • bar graph
  • pie chart
  • analysis
  • conclusion
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