Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?
Usually,
male
and Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
are having
dissimilar Wrong verb form
have
of
strengths and weaknesses. Some people believe that Change preposition
apply
defined
Correct article usage
the defined
of
positions of Change preposition
apply
the
work might separate Correct article usage
apply
by
fellow and women. In Change preposition
apply
this
essay
I will write my opinion.
Today, gender balance in the companies Add a comma
essay,
have
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has
an
improved success, but some Correct article usage
apply
jobs
required
strong physical activities and sometimes need to quickly decide some troubles. Wrong verb form
require
How
we know from Correct word choice
As
the
Correct article usage
apply
nature
men
have a more physically strong power than female and women have a
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a define task
define tasks
define
tasks by Replace the word
defined
created
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creating
the
Correct article usage
apply
nature
, which they are have some advantages in some place
than Fix the agreement mistake
places
men
. Following that, some professions like,
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apply
mechanic
, production field operators Fix the agreement mistake
mechanics
and
etc Correct word choice
apply
neccessary
to include Correct your spelling
necessary
men
power. Because of Change noun form
men's
this
, as mentioned this
Correct determiner usage
these
jobs
required
Wrong verb form
require
to
more power and fast Change preposition
apply
deciding
Replace the word
decisions
to
certain activities.
Change preposition
on
Secondly
, in traditions of the some nations female
don't have any Fix the agreement mistake
females
permissions
Fix the agreement mistake
permission
for doing
some Change preposition
to do
jobs
, it might be
depend on traditions or Unnecessary verb
apply
religions
views. But it Replace the word
religious
not
interfere Add a missing verb
does not
for choose
some Change preposition
with choosing
jobs
, because in the world day to day male and female balance increasing and some countries give the permissions
Fix the agreement mistake
permission
for example
, drive
a car, Fix the infinitive
to drive
doing
any physically and psychologically loaded Wrong verb form
do
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
and
etcCorrect word choice
apply
,
Remove the comma
apply
than
it was earlier.
Replace the word
then
To sum up
, by experiences in the world we see that female
in some aspects better than Fix the agreement mistake
females
men
,
and after sometime
in the world gender balance will Replace the word
some time
be have
Change the verb form
have
90
% result. But Correct article usage
a 90
remaining
10% of the Correct article usage
the remaining
jobs
will be done by male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
,
because Remove the comma
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
nature
created Correct quantifier usage
more powerfully
powerfully
Change the word
powerful
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
men
than women, we couldn't fool nature
.Submitted by daniyarkhassan92 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader on what to expect. Additionally, each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments with specific examples and evidence. This will help support your main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by ensuring each idea connects smoothly to the next. Try using transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a stronger and clearer conclusion. Summarize the key points you've made and restate your position clearly.
task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your ideas. Some points are mentioned but not fully explored. Try to elaborate more on each argument.
task achievement
You have a clear stance and make an effort to support it.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and attempts to cover various aspects of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in structuring your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.