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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Topic: In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

#topic #countries #companies #job #applicants #age #development
In
the
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apply
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contemporary society, there are several nations that prohibit offices from making refusals for job applicants in
term
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terms
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 of
age
. Some individuals
argued
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argue
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 that giving a ban requirement to many companies from categorizing and deciding rejections for candidates following their
age
, and that can be beneficial to the
overall
 enhancement of professions,
whereas
 others are of the
views
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view
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 that it can lead to negative consequences. The author will explain both sides and the ownself point of view.
To begin
 with, the first witness
at
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on
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 the positive side of
argument
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the argument
an argument
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,
one
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is one
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 compelling opinion in
favor
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favour
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 of prohibiting work offices from refusing candidates that
relying
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rely
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 on
person's
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a person's
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age
, so it can promote equality in upgrading.
Furthermore
, it can be ensured that each guy
are
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is
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 evaluated with the reliance on more vital
factor
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factors
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such
 as skills, experiences and qualifications rather than marginal views like
the
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apply
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age
.
Additionally
,
age
 should not be a barrier to consistent learning and
adaption
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adaptation
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. The more
encourage
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encouraging
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 to companies
for realizing
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realise
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 the applicant's
age
 promotes lifelong studying, the valuable ability of people to catch up with and improve. Moving to the
another
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other
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 side of the idea, opponents argue that strict regulations toward
age
-based hiring can impose particular drawbacks. First off, cost concerns, which can cause several conflicts likely the old workers tend to command higher salaries
due to
the
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their
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 intelligence and life experience. And come to think of it, innovation and adaptability can become a second reason why it is very
importance
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important
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 to consider
age
 since critics
sugest
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suggest
 that
youngsters
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young
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applicant
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applicants
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 may bring more
motivation
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motivational
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 perspectives. In conclusion, it is crucial for governments to find
out
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apply
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a perfect balance. To be honest, they should create rules against
the
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apply
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discrimination
while
it
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apply
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also
 understanding what type of forms they are playing a necessary role for businessmen during the process of hiring.
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task achievement
While your essay addresses both sides of the argument, ensure your ideas are more clearly expressed. Try to use more precise language and stronger topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence, make sure that all your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use more transitional phrases and linking words to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You should aim to incorporate more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This will help substantiate your arguments and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have provided a fair balance in presenting both sides of the argument, which showcases your ability to consider multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion attempts to bring together your main points, which is effective in summarizing your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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