These days in many countries people live longer time away of their family.whu this happens?what effescts this problem has on individuals and families?
Nowadays, the style of working can play a crucial in many aspects. In most of the country, many individuals live longer
far
from their family members. Correct word choice
and far
Linking Words
This
problems come from Change the determiner
These
the
society and their ambition. Correct article usage
apply
This
situation can have a negative effect on their health.
Linking Words
To begin
with, there are some reasons that Linking Words
people
live longer Use synonyms
time
away Use synonyms
of
their family.Change preposition
from
first
and foremost can be Capitalize word
First
realated
to Correct your spelling
related
the
society. because many Correct article usage
apply
people
get a Use synonyms
few
money as salary during a month. Correct quantifier usage
little
that is
why, they have to Linking Words
work
from dawn to dusk to provide primary facilities for their family members, especially for their Use synonyms
childerens
. Correct your spelling
children
children's
This
way, they Linking Words
work
very hard to make a lot of money and have Use synonyms
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better life
better lives
lives
. Use synonyms
secondly
, a large number of individuals have a Linking Words
lof
of ambitions in their Correct your spelling
lot
lives
. Use synonyms
in other words
, they have a great tendency to access all Linking Words
sort
of facilities in their Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
lives
ranging from, Use synonyms
big
Correct article usage
a big
house
and new Fix the agreement mistake
houses
car
to Fix the agreement mistake
cars
cellphone
and Fix the agreement mistake
cellphones
laptop
. so, they prefer to Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
work
Use synonyms
long
Correct article usage
a long
time
away Use synonyms
of
their family till the day Change preposition
from
acheive
their desired goal in their Correct your spelling
achieve
lives
.
Use synonyms
however
,Linking Words
this
style of working can have a negative effect on the Linking Words
people
over their Use synonyms
lives
. Use synonyms
firstly
, when Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
work
from dawn to dusk to make a lot of Use synonyms
mony
, Correct your spelling
money
that is
why they do not have any free Linking Words
time
to spend some Use synonyms
funny
Correct word choice
fun
time
with family Use synonyms
member
. so, they will be faced with many problems that the most common one is depression. Fix the agreement mistake
members
moreover
, having Linking Words
high
rate of ambition in Add an article
a high
the
life Correct article usage
apply
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
from
interacting with a large number of Correct pronoun usage
one from
people
to share ideas and communicate with them. Use synonyms
this
strategy can cause isolation for Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
do
not spend Correct pronoun usage
who do
time
with other Use synonyms
people
.
in conclusion, it is true that the problem of Use synonyms
live
longer Change the verb form
living
time
away Use synonyms
of
their family will Change preposition
from
probebly
not be solved quickly. Correct your spelling
probably
this
is not Linking Words
reason
to avoid Add an article
a reason
solution
for Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
this
Linking Words
problems
.I think that Fix the agreement mistake
problem
people
provide opportunities for themselves to make Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a balnce
balnce
in their Correct your spelling
balance
lives
between their Use synonyms
work
and health.Use synonyms
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Work on delivering ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Try to avoid overly long and complex sentences which might confuse readers. Simplify your points for better readability.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure and coherence by using transitional phrases and connectors to link ideas smoothly. For example, using words like 'consequently,' 'moreover,' and 'in addition' can improve flow.
coherence cohesion
Focus on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structure. Simple, clear, and grammatically correct sentences can enhance readability and coherence.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and provides relevant points that pertain to the issue of people living longer away from their families.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and give a good sense of the essay's main arguments.
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