IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the figure for hours per week in the industrial sector in four European countries in 2002.

The charts below show the figure for hours per week in the industrial sector in four European countries in 2002.
Contained in the bar charts is information pertaining to the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 in the industrial field in different European countries during 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the majority of workers in four countries worked for 36 to 40
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
, with the exception of those in
France
Use synonyms
 with the majority of them recorded to
work
Use synonyms
 for 31 to 35
hours
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, British employees seemed to dedicate for their
work
Use synonyms
 more than 40
hours
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 compared to those who only worked under 35
hours
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
, it can be observed that Sweden had the highest percentage of people having to fulfil a 36-hour-and-above workweek, with 80% of them having to
work
Use synonyms
 for 36 to 40
hours
Use synonyms
. Denmark came a close second at 70%,
while
Linking Words
 only half
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of Britain and
France
Use synonyms
 were willing to dedicate for
work
Use synonyms
 6 to 40
hours
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
. Regarding the people who enrolled in the industrial sector and worked 40 or more
hours
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
, the figures hardly surpassed 20% except for Sweden at 30%. The UK had around 15% to 20% for
this
Linking Words
 figure and
France
Use synonyms
 experienced the same trend with a smaller proportion from 10% to 20%,
while
Linking Words
 Denmark’s data was just below 10%. In terms of working less than 35
hours
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 was uncommon for both UK and Danish industrial workers, with nearly 10% to 20% of them having
such
Linking Words
 commitment.
This
Linking Words
 was more prevalent among Sweden and
France
Use synonyms
 workers, at around 10% to 38% and a half of the country.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week, france, work with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: