IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
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The pie charts provide key information about
ratio
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the ratio
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 of
water
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 used for different purposes in various world regions. The units are measured in
percent
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per cent
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that domestic
water
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 used had approximately the smallest share among all the countries.
In addition
Linking Words
,
agricultures
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agriculture
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 was the dominant
regions
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region
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by
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of
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 all the
group
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groups
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, except in both North America and Europe but
industrial
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the industrial
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 sector is the major part of them about half of
total
Correct article usage
the total
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water
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 used.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, Africa,
s
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's
water
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 used per cent in
agriculture
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use
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 accounted for 84% of the total,
while
Linking Words
 9% and 7% for industrial and domestic
use
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, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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agriculture
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agricultural
show examples
use
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 in Central Asia represents nearly
ninth
Correct article usage
a ninth
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 of the total, the highest among all the groups and only 5% for industrial
use
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. South East Asia uses about 81% of
water
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 in
agriculture
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.
While
Linking Words
 industrial and domestic
use
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 both account for approximately
fifth
Correct article usage
a fifth
show examples
 of the total.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
agricultural
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agriculture
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 is the main
in
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apply
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sector in using of
water
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 in South America. In terms of North America
agriculture
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use
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represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
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 39%
while
Linking Words
 domestic
use
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just
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is just
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 about
tenth
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a tenth
the tenth
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Europe represents 32%,
15
Correct word choice
and 15
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% for agricultural and domestic
use
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, respectively.
Submitted by n.a.s.2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, agriculture, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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