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Band 7.5

The graph below show the percentage of math graduates and other graduates who got full tie job after graduating from a university in Australia, and also show the average salary of both these types of graduates, from 2004 to 2012.

The graph below show the percentage of math graduates and other graduates who got full tie job after graduating from a university in Australia, and also show the average salary of both these types of graduates, from 2004 to 2012.
The given chart provides information on both full-time workers were held a university degree with the percentage and the number of average salaries of
graduates
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 in Australia between 2004 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that among all the percentage of full-time workers who achieved a university degree, the scale of math
graduates
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 witnessed an upward
trend
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,
in contrast
Linking Words
, the amount of other
graduates
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 had a downward
trend
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 from 2004 to 2012. Of all the percentages of the two types of university degrees, math
graduates
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 always reached the highest over 9 years, beginning from 2004. At the general witness, the percentage of maths
graduates
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 increased slightly and reached a peak in 2008, with around 83%, still ranking 1st.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there was a downward
trend
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 in the proportion of other
graduates
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, with above 60% in 2012 and returning back the same figure in 2004. But in 2006, other
graduates
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 gained rank 1st and reached the peak, with ranging from 87% to 89%. In general, the figures of the statistics show information about the number of
graduates
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' average salary. From 2004 to 2012, math
graduates
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 witnessed an upward
trend
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 and still rank 1st,
while
Linking Words
 others were decreased. There was a dramatic increase between 2004 and 2012, with 56000. It was higher than it used to be in 2004 around 15000.
Finally
Linking Words
, other
graduates
Use synonyms
 had a slight decrease over 9 years, starting from 2004, with 51000 in 2012.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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