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Band 5.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #show #percentages #men #women #employment #four #countries #summaries #information #features #comparison
The bar charts indicated the proportion of
men
 and
women
 who were still working in their 60-64 age in four
countries
,
such
 as
Australia
, Japan, the
USA
 and Belgium in the year of 1970 and 2000.
According to
 the chart above, the trend in all
countries
 was the same for
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
men
 who worked until their past prime time was decreasing,
while
 the trend for
women
 varied a little bit. The
percentage
 of
men
 aged 60-64 in
employment
 between 1970 and 2000 had seen a decline in the four
countries
. The largest drop happened in Belgium which fell from 79% in 1970 to 19% in 2000.
Whereas
,
Australia
 and
USA
 experienced roughly the same decrease with 75% to 47% in
Australia
 and 73% to 55% in the
USA
.
Moreover
, the
percentage
 of
Japanese
men
 who were still working until their early 60s dropped just by 8% from 84% to 76%. On the other side, the
percentage
 of
women
 who were still in
employment
 after reaching the age of 60 varied among those four
countries
 between 1970 and 2000.
Australia
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 saw a slight jump from 18% to 19% in
Australia
while
 the
USA
 had a larger rise from 36% to 38%. At the same time, the
percentage
 of
Japanese
 and Belgian
women
 aged 60-64 who were still in
employment
 saw the same trend as the
percentage
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men
 in those
countries
 albeit
Change preposition
with the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 smaller decrease. 3% of
Japanese
women
 were no longer in
employment
 compared to the
percentage
 of
Japanese
women
 in 2970. Whilst
Beligium
Correct your spelling
Belgium
 saw a much smaller decrease compared to Japan, only 1% from 8% to 7%.
Submitted by rianadmaja on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, countries, australia, usa, percentage, employment, japanese with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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