Success is often measured in terms of how much somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

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It is often argued

that

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apply

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whether earnings can be accumulated as successful or any other factors. Many

people

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consider accomplishment

Unnecessary verb

apply

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based on

people

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wealthy

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wealth

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. But I think fortune is not a good way to calculate of individual's success. A peaceful

life

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along with

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mental and physical fitness are to be considered as prosperity.

This

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essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.

To begin

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with, financial security is not a good way to weigh anybody's accomplishments because somebody earns more

money

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even though they have more debts from financial institutions like loans.

Money

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is not one thing to judge other's savings and

secure

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security

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For example

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, Dr APJ Abdul Kalam was a successful person across India but he did not have any

fortunes

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fortune

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to secure his

life

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instead

Linking Words

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apply

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he earned

people

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heard

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hearts

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through his intelligence.

Hence

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money

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should not be considered as success.

Furthermore

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, a peaceful

life

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mental

Correct word choice

and mental

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and physical fitness

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also

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are also

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to be considered as accomplishments

than

Rephrase

rather than

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prosperity.

This

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means in

this

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fast-paced world most

people

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suffer depression and stress

due to

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a lack of time

spending

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spent

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with their family members,

consequently

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, they do not have a peaceful

life

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but they have a bulk amount of fortune.

For instance

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, Bill Gates, the wealthiest man in the world,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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might not live a peaceful

life

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because

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apply

show examples

he should work hard to hold his position And it creates a luxurious

life

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without happiness. Needless to say,

happy

Correct article usage

a happy

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life

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with mental happiness should be assumed as successful. In conclusion, prosperity is always

calculate

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calculated

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based on earnings and savings but I think

this

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not

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is not

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a good aspect to weigh accomplishments because there are some other ways to measure accomplishment

such

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as a peaceful

life

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mental

Correct word choice

and mental

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and physical fitness.

Therefore

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, I think

money

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is not

only

Add an article

the only

show examples

way to calculate

people

Use synonyms

successful

Replace the word

success

show examples

reanudeepanMon Jun 17 2024

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task response

Your task response is good as you address the primary question of the essay and provide a clear stance that wealth is not a sufficient measure of success. However, you could make your arguments more comprehensive and elaborate further on points like mental and physical fitness, and peaceful life.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a good logical structure and includes an introduction and conclusion, which is commendable. However, try to organize your essay into clearer paragraphs with distinct points. Your arguments could be a little more logically connected.

task response

While you have introduced specific examples like Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam and Bill Gates, the connection between these examples and your main points could be stronger. Ensuring that your examples clearly support your argument will bolster your task achievement score.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion effectively.

task response

You successfully recognize and address the notion that wealth is not the only measure of success and suggest alternative measures such as mental and physical fitness and a peaceful life.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Success is often measured in terms of how much somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

television sporting show such as olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much .DO YOU AGREE or disagree ? include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion?

University education should be free to everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.