IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#uk #time #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The table here illustrates the portion of activities that occupied the day of jobless men and women in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom
last
 year. To
summerise
Correct your spelling
summarise
show examples
, the highest hour spent
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 housework in a day by women
whereas
, men spent most of the
time
 searching for
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 in the morning and watching TV in the
afternoon
.
Incase
Correct your spelling
In the case
show examples
 of men, they spent 22% of
time
 in the morning and 12% in the
afternoon
 for
job
 hunting. They
also
 spent a lot of
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housework, shopping and gardening in the morning,
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
 19%,20% and 14%
time
. In the
afternoon
, they mostly
did watching
Wrong verb form
watched
show examples
 TV which was 14%
time
as well as
job
 hunting, visiting friends and relatives, gardening, spending 12%, 12%,
13
Correct word choice
and 13
show examples
% of
time
 respectively. The least amount of
time
 went for, drinking, playing sport,visiting town and doing nothing. As for the women,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 spent
alomost
Correct your spelling
almost
 half of their
time
 doing housework in the morning and 21%
time
 in the
afternoon
, which is the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 among them. They spent
fair
Add an article
a fair
show examples
 amount of
time
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 shopping, 26% of the
time
 in the morning and 17% in
afternoon
Add an article
the afternoon
show examples
. They
also
 did
job
 hunting, visiting friends or relatives in the morning.
Submitted by mostakahmedfaysal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, job, afternoon with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: