The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#percentage #participation #women #management #three #companies #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The table illustrates how

women

participated in senior

management

Eldan

Ltd

Bamforth

Ltd

, and

Finsbury

Ltd

between 1975 to 2015. In 1975,

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

participation

Eldan

Ltd

was the lowest compared to

Bamforth

Ltd

and

Finsbury

Ltd

Women

only participated 3% in

Eldan

Ltd

senior

management

nevertheless

Add a comma

nevertheless,

show examples

women

gave 9% of

participation

Bamforth

Ltd

and 16% in

Finsbury

Ltd

. There is an increasing trend for

women

participation

between 1975 to 2015 in senior

management

for

Eldan

Ltd

and

Bamforth

Ltd

nevertheless

the fluctuating trend experienced by

Finsbury

Ltd

For example

Eldan

Ltd

always experienced

women

participation

in senior

management

for 5 periods, the first biggest escalation happened between 1985 and 1990,

women

participation

Eldan

Ltd

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

only 14% in 1985

rose

Correct word choice

and rose

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to 28% in 1990.

This

huge escalation made

Eldan

Ltd

the company with the biggest

women

participation

compared to

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

2 companies. The biggest escalation for

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

participation

Eldan

Ltd

happened between 2000 and 2015. In 2000,

Eldan

Ltd

was only 33% and in 2015 it rose

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to 64%. The same thing happened in

Bamforth

Ltd

although

the escalations were not as big as what happened in

Eldan

Ltd

. In conclusion,

Eldan

Ltd

experienced a huge difference in their 2015 senior

management

position compared to 1985,

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

thing occurred in

Bamforth

Ltd

even though not as big as

Eldan

Ltd

, but the fluctuating numbers of

women

participation

were experienced by

Finsbury

Ltd

Submitted by kelly on Tue Jun 18 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "nevertheless".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words women, management, eldan, ltd, bamforth, finsbury, participation with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

239 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that children should learn world history. Others believe that it is more important to learn the history of their own country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasizes that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative develop

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunize their children against common diseases, or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunize their children?