The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors in a particular country from 1978 to 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors in a particular country from 1978 to 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph depicts the proportion of cinema attendance sorted by their ageing sections in a specific nation over a 30-
year
period.
Overall
, it can be seen that teenagers were the most visitors generally,
while
the lowest rate belonged to the elderly ones. In 2008, the oldest people and individuals who were between 35 to 49 years old reached an equal number. In 1978,
it is clear that
teenagers stood at %90, which is the highest rate of
this
year
, followed by their youngster counterparts, their middle-aged rivals and the oldest ones with %80, %60 and %40 respectively. The over-50-
year
-old participants hit the low of %40
this
year
. In the following years, all ageing groups experienced a significant decline until the next decade, which ended at the
year
1988.
Then
,
similarly
, all of these trends saw a sharp increase in the following 10 years and reached the rate of %90, %70, just over %60 and %40 by sorting from the youngest to the oldest.
Finally
, in 2008, teenage counterparts were attended the most by %80.
however
, both the oldest rivals and middle-aged persons had the lowest proportion in
this
particular
year
of the survey.
Submitted by pooya.olad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: