IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Not enough student around the world choose to study science subjects at the university. What are the reasons for this? What impact does this issue have on society? Give your reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#student #world #study #science #subjects #university #impact #society
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Science subjects are very important. And most
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 do not like to study science subjects at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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university.
Every one
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Everyone
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 has his/her own reasons, someone is not like the laws of physics. The
ether
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other
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 one is not like the numbers. And someone else has not the skills for
accouning
Correct your spelling
accounting
. And lots of examples. We have to find
a solutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a solution
solutions
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Like teaching in
a different ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
different ways
a different way
show examples
.
Submitted by yuosf132435 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer structure. Start with an introduction that outlines the issue and your main points. Following the introduction, have distinct paragraphs for each key idea or reason, and finish with a conclusion that summarizes your argument.
task achievement
You should develop your reasons and explanations more fully. For instance, explain why some students dislike physics or math with real-life examples or statistical data. Also, suggest more comprehensive solutions for the issue you identified.
task achievement
Your topic sentence clearly signals the main issue: the disinterest of students in science subjects.
coherence cohesion
You have mentioned various reasons why students might avoid science subjects, which shows an understanding of different perspectives.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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