IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People have different views on how to reduce traffic congestion. Some think that governments should build more train and subway lines, while others think that building more roads and widening existing roads will reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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People
Use synonyms
 have differing opinions about how to solve
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
. Some say that the solution to jammed
traffic
Use synonyms
 is
by increasing
Change preposition
to increase
show examples
 the routes of public
Use synonyms
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others view that it is better for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to build new
roads
Use synonyms
 and widen existing
roads
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that the problem of congesting
traffic
Use synonyms
 can be tackled by making mass transportation
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reachable across more areas. Raising the number of train and subway lines will enable the mass
Use synonyms
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 to reach more citizens. As more
people
Use synonyms
 would be accommodated,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 would be using the
roads
Use synonyms
 and
instead
Linking Words
 opt in for the mass
Use synonyms
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
, when the routes they headed for existed. It is
therefore
Linking Words
 agreed that investing in more transportation lines would lessen
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, Singapore's government notes that
traffic
Use synonyms
 in central Singapore
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 reduced by 10% since the opening of
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
show examples
 12
Singapore's
Change noun form
Singapore
show examples
 subway lines.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that constructing more
roads
Use synonyms
 and enlarging existing
roads
Use synonyms
 is a better solution that more
roads
Use synonyms
 can accommodate more vehicles. Nowadays, the ownership of personal vehicles keeps increasing in major cities and it must be balanced with the
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
roads
Change the noun form
road
show examples
 construction and capacity.
However
Linking Words
, it is still difficult to avoid
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams, since even the largest personal vehicles would still not be able to take up as many
people
Use synonyms
 as public
Use synonyms
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 would.
For instance
Linking Words
, in general, large cars can accommodate a maximum of 6
people
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 a single carrier
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
train has a maximum capacity of 50
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 both solutions can play a role in reducing
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion, equipping public
Use synonyms
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 with new routes would work better in resolving
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems, acknowledging that
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 and
subway
Fix the agreement mistake
subways
show examples
 can fit a way larger number of
people
Use synonyms
 in
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 carriages.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all ideas are fully elaborated and connected to the main thesis statement. This could strengthen the logical structure of the essay and provide a more cohesive argument overall.
task achievement
Include more specific details and examples to support each point raised. This could enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
general feedback
Carefully proofread the essay to correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases. This attention to detail can improve overall readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the two contrasting views, setting the stage for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the case of Singapore, to illustrate the arguments made, enhancing the argument's credibility.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • public transportation
  • personal vehicles
  • alleviating traffic
  • environmentally friendly
  • pollution levels
  • road infrastructure
  • traffic flow
  • bottlenecks
  • induced demand
  • sustainable solution
  • urban traffic problems
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