IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
#value #country #exports #categories #percentage #change #category
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given bar chart compares the
export
Use synonyms
 income from five different categories in 2015 and 2016
while
Linking Words
 the table illustrates the Product category in
Use synonyms
export
Add an article
an export
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 from 2015 to
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 year .
Overall
Linking Words
, Petroleum and Engineered
products
Use synonyms
 were the main
export
Use synonyms
 earners in both years and the
export
Use synonyms
amount
Use synonyms
 increased
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2015 to 2016
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 certain categories which are engineering , textiles and
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
products
Use synonyms
. Petroleum production and Engineering goods had
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 and reached the top of
chart
Add an article
the chart
show examples
 with about
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
60
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. In the given two years Petroleum
products
Use synonyms
 increased to 3% from 60
billion
Use synonyms
 to 62
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 .
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Engineering goods
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
faced
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
vast increases
just
Change preposition
of just
show examples
 over 60
billion
Use synonyms
 to 65
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 of
export
Use synonyms
 earnings .
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, Gems and
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
 sales
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 down by almost 5.18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from 45
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 . The other two categories had much lower
export
Use synonyms
 values. Agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 and textiles accounted same
amount
Use synonyms
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
 years former
had
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
been changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
 in 2015 it earned 40
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 and kept
this
Linking Words
amount
Use synonyms
 until
following
Add an article
the following
show examples
 year. The letter category increased slightly from 25
billion
Use synonyms
 to 30
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2016 .
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words export, amount, products, billion, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • export value
  • trend analysis
  • anomalies
  • percentage change
  • sector analysis
  • global demand
  • domestic production
  • economic conditions
  • technological advancements
  • international regulations
  • economic growth
  • trade relations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: