IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

⁷Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

#⁷some #people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
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As has been commonly acknowledged, many people consider that university
students
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 should study whatever subjects they prefer.
However
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, a small group of people submit that
students
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 should only learn those subjects that are considered useful in the future.
This
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 essay will unfold both strands of argument and offer my own insights into the debate. For those who posit that the objective of education is always to prepare
students
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 for their prospective
career
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careers
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, it is essential for colleges and universities to provide skills and
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 that would help in job seeking.
Therefore
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, subjects related to science and technology, which could directly affect social
developments
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development
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, should assume
the
Correct article usage
apply
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paramount importance in education. The opponents of
this
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 statement,
however
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, believe that the
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 which may not have a practical value
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 equally critical.
Moreover
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, young people should be left free to choose what
interest
Correct subject-verb agreement
interests
show examples
 them the most. Personally, I find myself concurring with the latter group for a number of reasons.
Firstly
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, I believe that the ultimate goal of education is to achieve
self-fulfillment
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self-fulfilment
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. Each of us can excel in the field that we are passionate about.
Hence
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, juveniles should not be limited in terms of their choices.
Second,
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different skills can contribute to society in distinctive ways, with some being less obvious.
Litrature
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Literature
,
for instance
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, nurtures our spirits,
while
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 philosophy guides our life and self-reflection.
Moreover
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, it is worth noting that the so-called useful areas can not advance without fundamental developments in these fields. On these premises, I contend that
students
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 should be able to choose and study what
attract
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attracts
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 and
inspire
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inspires
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 them, and universities should bear the responsibility of offering a wide range of opportunities.
Submitted by sxueji on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable.
task achievement
Ensure that your points are fully supported with detailed explanations. Each main idea should have elaboration and evidence.
task response
Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with clear transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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