IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. Write an email to your friend. In your email • recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn • explain how your friend could learn this sport • suggest that you both learn this sport together.

#friend #lives #town #advice #sport #email
I am so glad to see your email . Luckily I have taken a distinguished short course , which particularly taught us to examine the clients's muscle capability with just a few questions and physical appearance and eventually, lead them to choose the most suitable sport
accordingly
 .Surprisingly, now that you asked for my recommendation on
this
 topic we can make the most out of my recent knowledge,
therefore
, considering your well-built and flexible body, tennis seems to be the right choice ,needles to point out, your long extremities will inevitably help you to reach tennis balls faster on the court.
Firstly
 we should arrange the right coach for beginner's level at a renowned academy called "X run and kick " that has the reputation for managing individual's unique capacities in the best way possible. You know what, I was eager to spend more on a hobby ,especially with a high level of physical activity, so I do not mind joining you to participate in
this
 thrilling tennis course .Plus, despite my playing experience of a few sessions , I am
also
 categorized as a novice player. So you will not fall back. Looking forward to hearing from you Love you Narges
Submitted by Narges on

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coherence
Your introductory and concluding sections are quite effective. However, the middle paragraphs can be structured more logically to enhance the flow of information.
coherence
Try to avoid run-on sentences; breaking them into shorter sentences can improve clarity.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score, be sure to provide more detailed and specific examples regarding the advantages of learning tennis or how the training sessions will look like.
task achievement
Be careful with word choice and sentence structure. For example, 'distinguished short course' can be rephrased to 'specialized short course' for more natural language.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed all parts of the task by recommending a sport, explaining how to learn it, and suggesting to learn it together.
task achievement
Your email maintains a friendly and engaging tone, appropriate for the task.
coherence
The opening and closing of the email are well-written and contribute to its overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advice
  • recommend
  • suitable
  • learn
  • coach
  • lessons
  • tutorial videos
  • practice
  • tennis club
  • group
  • schedule
  • regularly
  • participants
  • tournaments
  • friendly matches
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