The two diagrams below show the information about teenagers learning musical instruments in one region of the UK. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant?

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The pie and bar charts illustrate the data about offspring who were learning musical equipment in a UK region between 1996 and 2016,

while

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they were under 18 years old.

Overall

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, it can be clearly seen that they had become most interested in learning during

this

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period. Considering the pie graph which shows the percentages of children, in 1996, 44% of them were learning musical devices.

This

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range increased substantially to 76% by 2016.

In addition

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according to

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the bar chart which demonstrates the choice of musical instruments between 1996 and 2016, the keyboard was chosen as the most popular instrument in 2016,

however

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, in 1996 the piano had the most demand.

Furthermore

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, the acoustic guitar was consistently less popular than others during

this

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period.

Moreover

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, the bar chart shows a little more than 105 offspring could play more than one musical instrument in 1996 which had never changed in those years.

To sum up

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, it can be apparent that learning musical equipment had become more popular

at the end

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this

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period, and most teenagers learned at least one musical device by 2016.

Submitted by mortezashamsa on Fri Jun 21 2024

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

184 words

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The two diagrams below show the information about teenagers learning musical instruments in one region of the UK. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant?

Please make an essay: Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences Discuss both sides of this argument and then give you own opinion.

An old car was left on the street near your street several weeks ago. The car is now causing a problem for residents. Write a letter to the Council. In your letter: * Describe the car * Outline the problems it is causing * Tell the Council what you want them to do about it

Some people think that govements should spend money for faster public transportation , others think that there are other important priortities . Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many people believe that learning a foreign language is a very difficult task. What are the most difficult things about learning a foreign language? What is the best way to overcome them?

in some countries, more and more people are becoming intrested in finding out about the history of the houses or building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this?